When I made the announcement, the shock was immediate and palpable. I could feel it ripple through the audience, compelling me to adjust my message in real-time. But as I scanned the room, I noticed that only the Korean Americans in our congregation had a look of horror on their faces.
I had just shared that, in accordance with our church bylaws, we would be transitioning from our existing “Lay Leadership Board” model to an “Elder Board” model. It was at that moment that I realized I had overlooked something profound: I had failed to take into consideration the unresolved hurt and trauma that so many Korean American Christians experienced from their younger days in the Korean immigrant church around the office of Elder. Moreover, I was unaware of the extent of this lingering pain that many of our congregants still carried with them.
A Diverse Community, A Divided Reaction
Before delving deeper, let me provide some context. I pastor 4 Pointes Church, an Asian American/Third Culture church in Atlanta, Georgia. Our congregation is ethnically diverse: 50% are ethnically Korean, 35% are Chinese or Taiwanese, 10% are Vietnamese, Hmong, Thai, Filipino, or of blended Asian heritage, and 5% are White, Black, or Hispanic Americans. Yet, despite this diversity, the announcement elicited a divided response. While members from non-Korean backgrounds seemed to embrace the change as the natural evolution of our church’s leadership, the Korean Americans appeared alarmed and bewildered.
At the conclusion of the service, many people came up to me, expressing enthusiasm that the church would soon have elders. Yet, several Korean Americans voiced a starkly different sentiment, asking, “Why? Why change a good thing by bringing in elders?” As I engaged in these conversations, I began to understand that their apprehensions were rooted in painful memories—memories of witnessing their parents, family, and friends suffer either as elders or at the hands of elders in the Korean immigrant church. Unbeknownst to me, my announcement had reopened old wounds.
Stories of Pain and Trauma
Some in my community expressed to me the audible shouting matches that overflowed from a room within the confines of the church while they and their friends were playing, waiting for their dads so that they could go home. Others recalled how their fathers’ anger from those meetings would overflow into their homes. Several described witnessing physical altercations between elders. One congregant even mentioned, “I don’t know if you remember the church in LA that was on the news because it was locked up by the authorities. That was my church.” But the story that struck me the most was from a pastor’s kid (PK), who said, “My father, a pastor, experienced so much hurt and pain from the elders. Are you sure you want to do this?”
On my drive home, it became clear that I had profoundly underestimated how deeply this trauma was rooted in the lives of many Korean American Christian adults who grew up in the Korean immigrant church. I knew that I needed to take tangible pastoral measures to address this pain and fear.
Steps Toward Healing and Understanding
Our leadership recognized that we needed to pivot from our original timeline in order to properly care for those in our community. We took the following four-fold approach to come alongside those who did not feel ready, and walk with them through the process.
1. Slow Down
I discussed my observations with our current leadership (at that time), and we agreed to slow down the transition, allowing adequate time for people to process the proposed change.
2. Listening Sessions
We organized several listening sessions after Sunday services, creating a safe, non-defensive environment where people could voice their concerns, ask questions, or simply learn more about transitioning to an elder-led church.
3. Education
We realized that there was a lack of understanding about the biblical roles of elders and deacons. Some thought that eldership was a “purchased” position within the church available to only those with sizable incomes. We dedicated an entire sermon series to deconstructing misconceptions about these roles and reconstructing their biblical purpose through Scripture. These teachings were concurrently explored in small groups, where people could delve deeper into their own experiences and the biblical text.
Many who were initially confused by the announcement came back to me after these sessions and admitted, “I never knew that’s what elders were biblically supposed to do and be until this series.” Most felt relieved and grateful for this new understanding, while others expressed frustration over their prior misconception because it was never properly taught to them.
4. Rigorous Process for Eldership
Given the community’s past trauma and suspicion surrounding elders, we established a rigorous and transparent process for becoming an elder, emphasizing our commitment to biblical and servant leadership. The steps included:
- Faithful participation in Sunday worship and small groups
- Serving as a small group or ministry team leader
- Completing an 8-week leadership cohort with the Senior Pastor
- Nomination by a Nominating Committee
- A 4-week elder training with the Senior Pastor
- An interview by the current Lay Leadership Board (in future iterations this will be the Elder Board)
- Presentation to the congregation for a vote, requiring a two-thirds majority for affirmation
By slowing down, providing space for sharing, educating through Scripture, and implementing a thorough process, the majority of the Korean American members at 4 Pointes eventually became the champions and strongest supporters of our elders.
Reflections and Takeaways
1. As pastors, elders, and church leaders, we wield influence that can leave either a traumatic or a positive impact on people’s lives that can endure for decades.
2. The church and its leadership can serve as a place of healing and redemption or risk becoming complicit in perpetuating the trauma of the past.
3. It is essential that the church and its leaders not only teach but also embody biblical leadership to foster trust and healing within the community.
This entire experience has reminded me that people, including young people, are watching. My congregants who had an adverse response to my announcement about installing elders were only children or teenagers when they themselves experienced these pain points. This is a sobering reminder that as leaders, we teach not only through our words but often, it is our actions that have greater significance and lasting influence on people’s lives. What good is it if we preach and teach a message of grace, mercy, and love, yet in our interactions with fellow image bearers, we manifest intolerance, animosity, and hate?
How we lead matters. How we lead as pastors, staff, elders, and deacons matters because our leadership can either reinforce and exacerbate the deep wounds of our community or change the narrative and offer hope that there is a different way—a way that honors, a way that heals, and most of all, a way that embodies Jesus. The gift of leadership that God has entrusted to us must be handled with humility and care because it can indeed leave indelible marks on people’s lives that can be either haunting or healing. Let us strive to be leaders who embody the latter and in so doing, cultivate a leadership culture in our churches that is reflective of the way that our Lord Jesus Christ has served us.