The Prodigal Youth

It was in the mid-70s, a while ago, at an immigrant church called the Wilshire Korean Presbyterian Church. It was a small church, and they had a building, probably smaller than some of the homes in Orange County. It became, though, like a second home to me, a second family. My family immigrated to the United States in different phases. My father came when I was five years old. My brother and I came when I was nine years old. And my mother and my younger sister came when I was 12 years old. So there was a lot of instability and a lack of family unity.

And even when we were all together, we were still immigrants per se, where we felt like we didn’t really belong. And the place that I felt at home, more than even home, was church. In particular, the youth group. But we didn’t have a huge youth group with great programs. It was a really small immigrant church. We didn’t have a professional youth pastor who was paid to take care of us. In fact, the people who served the youth ministry were the PKs. Out of duty and out of love, created a family-like environment for us.

Somewhere when I was in junior high school, I remember this particular day, the sun was shining through the windows. and an older high school student from the youth ministry started talking to me. Steve, are you a Christian? One of the PKs who were serving at the youth ministry. And I said, I don’t know. And he explained what it meant to be a Christian to accept Jesus Christ and the work that he did for us. Then I will be forgiven.

he asked if I believed in all of that and I said there was not a time I didn’t believe but can we pray? So I still remember this moment on the steps of Wilshire Korean Presbyterian Church. It was a carpeted step, blue with sun shining through the window. We sat on those steps and we prayed the sinner’s prayer together. That was some 50 years ago.

And though I’ve had my ups and downs in my faith Jesus never left me when I was asked to speak at this particular event and in terms of solo conferences I normally am in the back or helping to organize I don’t oftentimes come up on the stage and in the plenary session but this time I said I will and largely because I wanted to thank so many of you, especially those of you who are volunteer leaders. And in my way, this is my way of thanking all the volunteers who’ve served youth groups, not only here, but in other churches and other generations and people like me.

Serving in youth ministry is not easy I am guessing that you spend more time, energy, and money than almost any set of volunteers at your church that you lead a group of people who have reached the age of accountability meaning they know right and wrong but they’re not independent adults who know how to say no, I don’t want to go to church and so they come kicking and screaming to church and you are there to somehow care for them. They are in this interesting stage of life where their greatest influences are friends but they know that their friends are stupid.

So they know they need adult influences but they’re trying hard to be independent from their parents. So somehow you become a quasi, big brother, big sister, or uncle, or aunt. I was a youth pastor for many years, but I was a volunteer for longer than those times. I remember when I was serving as a youth volunteer after college, I was an engineer. I lived in the valley. And the church was in LA, and I had students coming from all over, and I used to make long drives to pick them up and drive them home.

And during those rides, we would have conversations about life, parents, identity, eternity, and so much more. I want to especially address those of you who are working with you, volunteers first and pastors second. And there are times when I know that you’re going to feel as if I’m not sure if this is worth it. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this. I’m not sure if it’s of any consequence. I’m going to look at Luke chapter 15. It is the story of the parable of the prodigal son. And if you are in the Reformed circles, this is, you know, we’ve learned from Tim Keller.

This is a story, not only of the younger son, but the older son. But I want to frame it a little bit for us and not simply look at the lostness of the immoral younger son and the lostness of the self-righteous older son, but I wanted to frame it in terms of the youth that you serve. And I believe the younger son’s story can give us a picture of the youth that you serve. And we can see your youth in perhaps three different scenarios. As someone who can be hurtful, someone who will eventually be humbled, and someone who can be healed.

And so let’s look at the youth or the son who could be hurtful. The hurtful son or the hurtful youth. We know the story. It begins in chapter 15, verse 11. We know this is a parable. This is a made-up story to illustrate a point. But if we can take it at what it’s saying, it says that there was a story about a man who had two sons. And it is the younger of the sons who said to his father, Father, give me the share of the property that is coming to me.

One of the first things that we learn about this particular young son is that he cares about what is due him more than anything else, more than family, more than loyalty, more than duty to others. And let me be clear, he’s not asking for something that is due him from work that he has done, but he is asking for his inheritance, that which should have been given to him after the death of his father. But he has the audacity, the cruelty to come to his father and ask for his share of the estates now. I can’t wait until you are old and dead, Father.

Can you imagine going up to your father and saying to him and your mother, I know one of these days he told me that a part of what you own will be handed down to me, but I cannot wait. Can I have what is due to me now? And the father, for some reason, grants that wish. He liquidated probably a third of his assets and gave it to his younger son. So the first thing that we learn about this younger son, he is a cruel, hurtful young man. And then we continue to read in verse 13, Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country.

There he squandered his property in reckless living. He went as far as he could, away from his family, away from his dad, away from his mom, away from his older brother, away from his duties. And he spent all that he had recklessly. And the term prodigal is an adjective, meaning someone who is reckless, lavish.

what did he spend his money on where you can only guess but in verse 3 his older brother accuses him of having devoured his dad’s property with prostitutes this younger son is not only a self-oriented individual but one who is reckless and cruel reckless living at the cost of any future security or the love of other people, though this is a fictitious story, I believe, there is a third thing that we can guess about this younger son. He is old enough to go on a journey on his own and get a job eventually, but not old enough to have been married yet.

Commentators believe he is someone who is in his late teens or early 20s, a high schooler or a college age student. He’s the kind of person that you are working with or who you worked with recently. I don’t know about you, but there are some kids that are hard to work with. Have you had a student who was difficult to love? Some just require a lot of attention. Perhaps it’s because they’re just socially not savvy. Or perhaps they’re recent immigrants in need of everything. Communication rides. Perhaps they’re just low-achieving students.

They take so much energy from you, but they don’t seem to give back to the group. And to be perfectly honest, when they’re not there, you don’t really miss them. But worse than the students who are difficult to love, there are students who are actually hurtful. perhaps they’re the ones who have everything. They come from a wealthy home, so they got their first new automobile at the age of 16, and their ride is nicer than your car.

He once asked you what your SAT score was when you were coming out of high school, and you were foolish enough to tell them that, only to find out later that that particular student scored several hundred points higher than yours. And every time he sees you and you want to talk to him about academics, he rolls his eyes at you. Like, what do you know? With all that he has been given, he is incredibly self-oriented.

He’s rude to those around him, he’s rebellious to his parents, and would be voted if the teachers, the volunteers had a secret vote on the biggest jerk in the youth group, he would win. And although you are supposed to be the adult, there are moments when you genuinely feel hurt by the student. I remember when I was serving in youth group right out of college, a friend of mine, and my friend, he’s a brilliant, brilliant student. ended up going to Harvard med school, et cetera.

And we had a high school boy who had such an attitude that we were in a retreat and this high school kid was in the upper bunk of the home that we were renting out for the retreat that my friend grabbed him by the collar and almost got in a fight with him. And I had to separate them. But a part of me is like, man, this guy deserves it. Some students are not only hard to love, but they’re just hurtful. And that’s the picture of the younger son, isn’t it? You know, one of the things that we don’t oftentimes think about is this. Youth group is a very unique group to minister to in the church.

Like I said, they’re a group that’s reached the age of accountability. They know what’s right. They know what’s wrong. But especially in the Asian American context, they have to be obedient. They have to come to church because parents told them they have to. But I want you to think about this. The vast majority of the kids you minister to will be unregenerate, meaning that they’re non-Christians to begin, meaning that if you are of the Calvinistic understanding of humanity, they are totally depraved.

They come kicking and screaming, and you get blamed for not entertaining them or making them better. This is a group that you’re working with. The hurtful youth. Because they hurt you. We know how the story goes. And the second picture we have of the youth is not only one who is hurtful, but one who will be humbled. The story continues in verse 14. That the effects of such a reckless living is in verse 14. When he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in the country. And he began to be in need. This is what I believe is the turning point in his life. Three things happened.

He spent everything. He thought he had a large capacity. He had a large inheritance. But his capacity was drained. He foolishly spent all that he had with loose and immoral living. Secondly, a severe famine arose in that country. The context changed. Things that are completely outside of his control changed his life. All of us, saints and sinners alike, live in a broken world, and we have to face that at times. And the third thing that happened to him is that he deals with the consequences of the choices that he makes, and he began to be in need.

He became hungry, most likely homeless, and desperate. listen carefully, I label this a prodigal son moment. I don’t care how smart you are. I don’t care how resourced you are. I don’t care how arrogant you are, how successful you are. Every person that you will ever encounter, every student will ever come through your youth group, I don’t care how hurtful they may be, how hard it may be to minister to them, they will all have a prodigal son moment where they will live beyond their capacity, where context will catch up to them, and they will be a child of the consequences of all of that.

For this young man, it was money. A recession hit. He got laid off. His investments failed. He declared bankruptcy. He couldn’t pay rent on his penthouse. And the people whom he thought were his friends started abandoning him. And so he found himself homeless and in need of help. For other people, it’s the breakdown of relationships. You can be arrogant and brash when you are rich in wealth and have resources, but those things tend to catch up to you. When you are one who can so easily hurt your family, you will eventually hurt others.

And at some point in time, they will come to a point where a wife says to her, that man I am leaving you. A child says to her mother, I hate you. Or friends start returning your calls. And they realize they’re alone. And for others, it could be health. That you thought you were in your late teens and early 20s and you thought you had it all. And at some point in time, the doctor tells you, No, you have this condition. And even if you escape all of that, there will come a time where you simply just run out of time. You get old. There’s never been a person who’s escaped old age.

Every single person will have a prodigal son moment. The richest, well-connected, successful, healthy person will eventually be on their deathbed. so came this young man and early in life and he resorted to that which was despicable so he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that land who sent him into his fields to feed pigs and he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate and no one gave him anything he was desperate do you realize that even the most hurtful hard to love student will have a prodigal son moment. I want you to understand this.

Can you do me a favor? Can you get out your phone? And if you want to do a Google search, open up your app, Chrome or Explorer or whatever, can you search for this? Leading cause of death for Asian American youth. Can you do that? Raise your hand if you found it. What is it? Suicide. What’s the age range that says on your article? Any of you found the age range? 15 to 24. I want you to listen to this. The leading cause of death for Asian Americans between the ages of 15 to 24 that young adult that perhaps represents this younger prodigal son is suicide.

The students that you work with, the students who would have recently graduated, if you hear of their death, the most likely probable cause is suicide. They’ve come to a point where life is so hard and they see no hope and they take their life. But a turning point happens in verse 17. But he came to himself. The NIV version says he came to his senses. Every person I believe will have a prodigal son moment when they are desperate, but not everyone has this moment when they come to their senses. But this young man does.

He comes to reality and he says to himself in verse 17, how many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread? But I perish here with hunger. I will rise and go to my father. I want you to understand what he’s saying. In his moment of desperation, he comes to his senses and he remembers his father’s home. And he remembers that even the servants, not even the sons, but the servants have enough to eat. It was a place where the highest of sons and the lowest of servants were well taken care of. In my father’s home, there is law of acceptance and care.

You know, what is somewhat unique about youth ministry is that all of your students time out, don’t they? You can have them from sixth grade to twelfth grade, but eventually they all graduate from your group. You send them off after a graduation dinner or service. Their family sometimes move to another church in an awkward way. Sometimes they just quietly stop coming and no one notices. But every student eventually times out.

You know, I used to gauge whether I am successful as a youth pastor or I used to gauge the success of a youth ministry according to how the students are bearing fruit during those six or seven years. Are the students responding to the programs through engagement, contribution, and baptisms? Are they being obedient like the older son who is productive for the family? Are they getting along with others and are they serving the cause? In short, we gear our attention, engage our effectiveness to how many older sons we are producing. And when they are not, we would oftentimes see that as failures.

I used to gauge my success on how the students were responding during the time I had them. And then I began to really understand Luke chapter 15 and in particular verse 17. Something changed because this verse 17 is an inflection point in the life of this young man who was hurtful, genuinely just a mean little kid, but humbled. In my father’s home. You know, it would be ideal if we can go from verse 11. He said, there was a man who had two sons, to verse 21. And the son said, Father, I’ve sinned against heaven and before you. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.

Verse 24, and they began to celebrate. It would be wonderful if the story just went that way, but that’s not how it goes. Rather, the son left cruelly. And then in times of desperation, he began to remember his father’s home.

I want you to understand this that there could be students in your life those whom you’ve ministered to and those who you are ministering to and those who you will minister to that during the times that they’re with you they will exhibit the characteristics of a hurtful youth arrogant rebellious and hurtful but there could be an entire possibility that that’s not the end of their story. That they could move on from your care and they will have a prodigal son moment. I guarantee you that.

And it is at that moment when they come to their senses, hopefully the Holy Spirit is at work in their heart so that they will come to their senses where they will look back and hopefully, hopefully, they will remember the time when they were in youth group and they would say, even the servants had enough to eat. Even the hurtful students, the rebellious students were loved by someone. You don’t know what kind of Christians that they will encounter after they leave your youth group. But I can tell you this, they’ve encountered you. And you are the personification of the Christian faith.

And will they say back when they remember in times of desperation and hunger, when they’re broken and humble, will they say, I remember that time when my teacher loved on me, when she continued to give me rides when I didn’t deserve it, When she remembers the goodness of the father’s house. And it could be entirely possible that you never see that happen. That it could be. That it happens decades later when they are in their 40s and they realize, oh, I failed as a businessman, as a husband, and they remembered the goodness of the father’s house.

And they may not even remember your name, but they remember that in my father’s house, in God’s house, there was forgiveness and acceptance. And I’m going to go back to that. About a month ago, I was at a funeral. It was a large funeral. I spoke, and I had to leave because I was going to another engagement and I was walking through the crowds and I heard a voice, Steve? And I turned around. I looked. Oh my. Called her name out. Is that you? And we talked. While I was a volunteer, youth volunteer, she was a student. She eventually married someone else from the youth group.

He, I remember, lived in Fountain Valley. I lived in the valley. If you’re not from around here, those are valleys, but they’re very far from each other. And the church is in Los Angeles near USC. And I don’t know why, but I used to pick him up, Fountain Valley, bring him to church, take him back home, go back to Fountain Valley. I mean, to the valley, San Fernando Valley. I remember driving crazy miles, and God was gracious to me. I didn’t get in an accident. He married her.

I didn’t have the ability to talk to her a long time, but I do know this, that for that particular couple, they remember that youth group days as a time when even the servants were well fed. That if they come to their senses, they would go back to the father’s home. we continue in verses 20 and 21. And we know that this young man, he rises and comes to the father. And it says in verse 20, while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion and ran and embraced him and kissed him. This is what I envision.

And listen, parents, if you have a child who ran off, if you have a child whom you’ve heard is living recklessly, may have been even homeless, they disowned you, and the last time you remember seeing them is them going eastward. What would you do? I know what I would do as a dad. I would look eastward. I would get up in the morning and look eastward. Remember the scene of my son walking. I would subconsciously keep looking that way and think to myself, perhaps today, perhaps today he’ll come back. God protect him. God allow him to come to his senses. I believe this father was doing that.

While the son was a long distance away, he recognized him, just a silhouette, just a gut feeling. And he ran and embraced him. And the son gives a talk that he begins to express the speech that he had prepared. Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. This is the statement. What he’s going to ask is what he practiced was, allow me to be a servant because I don’t deserve to be a son. But the father cuts him off in verse 22.

But the father said to his servants, Bring quickly his best robe and put it on him and put a ring on his hand and shoe on his feet and bring the fattened calf and kill it and let us eat and celebrate. Verse 24, for this my son was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found and they began to celebrate. This was a celebration by the father. And this is the picture of some of your kids, your students, That we hope and pray that they will come to their sentence and they will come back. And we hope there will be a church, a group that’s gracious enough to embrace them back.

And that you would also. I have a pastor friend. I didn’t get his permission to tell the story, so I’m going to make it anonymous, but some of you may know him. I asked him, how did you get into ministry? Interesting story. When he was a youth, he got in a gang fight, beat up a kid pretty badly, outnumbered him 41, got arrested, and was sentenced to serve, give community service hours. And so he began to serve at the church.

the pastor took him under his wings made him do all sorts of chores but also loved on him cared for him that was when he was junior high school funniest thing he’s the English pastor at that church right now I wanted to leave you with these final words it’s written by the apostle paul to the church in corinth and if you do not know the church of corinth is uh significantly more dysfunctional than the church that you are a part of you know your kids may come to you and say gosh you know what you know there’s this gossip going on there’s this immorality going on yeah your church might be broken but the church of corinth was even more broken there was division like at least four different leaders that people are trying to align themselves to sexual sin a guy sleeping with his stepmother people suing each other it’s an inconsiderate way of doing the lord’s supper a rebellion against apostolic authority and such and paul writes this letter to the people who are in Corinth, the church of Corinth.

And I’m sure that some of this letter and the content of it got to some of the people who are serving the young people there. And after a long letter in 1 Corinthians chapter 15, and if you remember nothing from my talk, I want you to remember the last verse of 1 Corinthians. Say that with me. The last verse of 1 Corinthians. The last verse of 1 Corinthians. I want you to remember that. Paul says it to this church and I want to say it to you. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord, your labor is not in vain.

Listen, you may have a student who is hurtful, but I want you to know your labor is not in vain. You may have a student leaves the church, but your work, your labor is not in vain. You may hear a story about a student who left your church to go to another church and was bad-mouthing your church and you, but listen, your labor is not in vain. You may get tired and you wonder if it’s all worth it while others are sitting on the sidelines. I want you to know your labor is not in vain. You wonder if you know enough, You’re effective enough. You wonder if you’re good enough.

But I want you to know your labor is not in vain. So I want to thank you. I want to thank you in the same way that others invested in me, cared for me, when I was a young immigrant junior hire that you are loving on, caring for, and you are expressing the love of the Father in your Father’s house. that your labor is not in vain. Let me pray for us. Lord Jesus, we thank you for your grace. I thank you for the men and women in this room. I thank you for the way that they are serving their youth.

And may you remind them, Lord, enrich them once again of the work that they’re doing and that you will not allow their labor to be in vain. In Jesus’ name we all pray. Amen.