Editor’s Note: This essay was originally published on Amy Loh’s blog. It has been edited and republished here with permission from the author.
The first six weeks postpartum were the most difficult six weeks I have ever experienced in my entire life. I had never felt so helpless, anxious, and such physical pain all at once before.
The first hours after I had Isaiah felt like a blur as family members visited and took photos. But soon, I started to feel the depths of my wounds, my hormonal changes, and my inexperience. My body couldn’t physically provide for my son the way that I wanted it to. I couldn’t muster up enough of my own emotions or optimism to help me pull through the physical changes and manage my overwhelming new responsibilities. Exhausted and worn-down, I realized I had no strength.
There were so many times I prayed to God in tears, wondering how I would get through the next hour. But in the midst of my first postpartum weeks, God taught me just how needy and weak I was (and am) and how gracious and sufficient He is.
It didn’t happen right away, but each hour of clinging to the truth of the Gospel saved me from what felt like a very dark pit of despair. The Gospel taught me to recognize my neediness and, rather than fixing it, to bring my neediness to my Savior again and again. It reminded me of how all Christians are called to have a larger perspective of His glory and the greater purposes of His sovereign plans.
By the grace of God, each day got better and better. My anthem was the song, “Lord I Need You” by Matt Maher. And I learned that every hour, every moment, I needed Him. The more I felt my need, the more he showed me how He could supply.
We Are All Needy
We live in an age of self-sufficiency. We live in a culture that is particularly focused on ourselves, and how capable we are. Our world especially likes to tell women that they are strong, independent and that we can do it on our own. (Whatever “it” is.) At other times, our culture tells women that we need to hide our flaws, perform, or make it look like we have it all together — even if that means looking like we are perfectly imperfect. Curiously, our world right now is simultaneously praising perfection while also praising self-made authenticity: “Wow, that woman is SO real.”
In that way, the world gives us temporary pep talks. But after a while, these “inspirational” words stop sustaining us, especially when trials come our way. Because the truth is, they aren’t ultimately true. We aren’t strong. Instead, we are so weak. So needy. If we try to do it on our own, we end up exhausted. Endlessly striving. Anxious.
God tells us that in order to thrive, to rest, and to really be free, we need to acknowledge that we need something else — Someone else. God gives us more than a pep talk. He gives us a greater story that is outside ourselves.
This is the story of the Gospel. That we are not strong enough and we can never do enough to earn a relationship with God. But if we place our trust in the perfect life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, then we can come before God as we are — broken, needy and unashamed — and receive life to the full. We can have rest for our weary souls. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
In fact, we can actually boast in our weaknesses. In 2 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes about how he asked God to take away a thorn in his flesh, but God responded to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (12:9). Hearing, this, Paul did not despair, but instead he said he would “boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me… For when I am weak, then I am strong” (12:9-10).
Bring Your Neediness To Christ
So I want to encourage you to first acknowledge that you are weak and needy. Then bring your neediness to Christ. There’s no need to hide behind a façade, to muster up your own strength, or to strive and strive for something that keeps leaving you exhausted.
The world may see weakness as a negative. But in God’s Kingdom, your weaknesses and neediness point to His sufficiency and His power at work in you. And when we finally recognize that, we are set free to sit at the feet of Jesus and to rest.
I also want to encourage you to bring your neediness to the body of Christ. We need one another. During the first months after my son was born, my husband and I were so blessed by so many in our church community. Many answered late-night texts, brought us meals, came and prayed for us, wrote us cards, and gave us meaningful gifts that both lifted our souls and brought us physical comfort.
From his own house arrest, Paul wrote in Philippians 4, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (4:13) Yet, Paul did not do things alone, and neither are we called to walk this life alone. In the very next verse, he says “Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble” (4:14), revealing that he found comfort in knowing others were walking with him.
Know that God provides for his people through the gift of others’ presence. Show your neediness to your church community and ask for help. In doing so, we point one another to Jesus in our neediness and experience the Gospel together.
The world will try to give temporary solutions and tell us to find strength within ourselves. Instead of sharing our burdens with one another, we can isolate ourselves. We can compare ourselves to one another and avoid asking for help. But brothers and sisters, rest in the freedom that Christ gives. In Christ, we can freely admit our weaknesses to Him, and in Christ, we can freely admit our weaknesses to one another.
Rest In An All-Sufficient Savior
God knew what He was doing in me those months after having Isaiah. And He knows what He is doing through each of us as we embrace our weaknesses. I’m a new mom. I don’t know what I’m doing. But I am definitely tempted to want to appear like I do. But I need you — more experienced moms, working moms, stay-at-home moms, singles, and even you, brothers. And ultimately, I need Jesus.
Knowing how needy we are helps us to see how beautiful a Savior Jesus is. We are weak. But He is strong. We serve an all-sufficient Savior. Let’s rest in Him.