Dear College Student,
For you, the last month has been a flurry of chaos, frantic packing, and unanswered questions. Futures that at one point seemed so crystal clear are now a foggy abyss. That previous satisfaction to begin your mornings whenever you wanted to is no longer as gratifying. The lack of structure, which at first was novel, has become quite stressful.
You miss your friends. You miss the ability to walk across the hallway in your PJs and talk for hours about the most random things with some of your favorite people. You miss eating late-night food. You miss pulling “all-nighters;” they were often far more fun than studious.
The sudden transition to once again living at home has been jarring. Maybe being away at college was a welcome escape to your normal home life. But now that you’re back in your bedroom, the not-so-welcome memories start flooding back. All the “progress” you thought you made as a person vanishes as old habits return. Impatience, flashes of anger, perhaps even coldness towards your family.
Or maybe you’re on the other end of the spectrum and so relieved to be back home. The semester had been weighing on you, and to be back home with the comfort of your family was just what you needed to get through another week.
On top of all this, a new grading system, one that does not incentivize you to study very hard, has either been the best or worst news you’ve heard in a while. For some, it may feel like the rug has been ripped right out from under you. For those from the Asian International or Asian American community, studying was a way of life. To have the institution that you worked so hard to get into tell you that the only letters of significance this semester will be “P” and “F” is offensive. It is disturbing to realize that the great sacrifice your parents made for your education, is, at least for the time being, being poured into a Zoom meeting.
For others, the release of academic pressure has been a great relief and blessing. You feel like you finally breathe again.
Is what I’m feeling normal? How should I feel? What do I do?
Crisis has been a part of the human experience ever since the fall. Bubonic plagues, genocides, atomic bombs, World Wars, nuclear plant explosions, 9/11 – the list could go on forever. Believers who lived through each of these crises were never left the same, and likely neither will you be.
The Psalms are full of believers who faced all types of crises – depression, exile, persecution, deep fall into sin. And while they often lament their circumstances, they also often declare a great hope in the midst of their troubles.
You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. – Psalm 71:20
The Psalmist knows that there will be both a present and ultimate redemption and declares so out loud. This declaration was not born out of a fleeting thought or idea, but rather it emerged from deep meditation on God’s immutable characteristics and faithfulness throughout all generations past. Consider the following from author Paul Tripp,
“Everyone, everyone is a theologian whether you’re a baker or a painter or a mechanic or an accountant, you’re a theologian. Everyone’s a philosopher, everyone’s an archaeologist, and you’ll dig through the mound of your existence to make sense out of life.”
As a theologian, your theology matters. What the voice in your head says to yourself is important. Does it tremble with each new global headline and email from your school dean, or is it steady and confidently grounded in Gospel truths?
To the student wondering what comes next, I highly encourage you to…
Reflect. Whether you’re currently relishing in the reality that your grades will be Pass / Fail, or upset because it feels like your efforts towards learning mean much less now, take some time to reflect on what your education means to you.
Was it of utmost importance because you thought it would guarantee the future you desire? Did you obsess over grades because you feared the consequences if you didn’t measure up? Or did you regularly neglect opportunities for your mind to be filled and shaped through reading, homework, and participation?
Where on the spectrum between idolatry and idleness have you been? Recognize, repent, and ask God to help you to reorient your perspective to live faithfully in these times as a student even though you can’t see from his full vantage point.
Be present. If right now is one of the best seasons of your life, don’t feel guilty in enjoying your new circumstances. Mom or Dad’s cooking, your siblings, those family board games you missed playing – right now is a rare chance for you to enjoy and be present with your loved ones.
It will sometimes be difficult, but honor your father and mother. They may not always “be right,” but even when we disagree with our parents, we can still honor them by the way we treat them. If you spent most of your childhood studying to “make it,” take some time now to serve and love your parents in light of a somewhat lightened educational burden. Know that you can be a source of great emotional support for them.
Create, Cultivate, Consume. Trevin Wax’s article from 2 years ago applies all the more now that many have much more free time.
“We live in a culture that drives us toward consumption, not creation or cultivation. The result is we assume creating is work and consuming is rest. We assume that anything that demands something of us must be tiresome and strenuous. And so, in our free time, we naturally gravitate toward the activities that are easiest and most immediately gratifying. We choose distraction over development.”
In addition to consuming Youtube, Netflix, and TV shows, also invest time in creating and cultivating. Create art, music, maybe even write a sci-fi novel – and cultivate – care for people, pets, plants, and even your body by exercising.
Acknowledge your circumstances, but fix your gaze on Christ. Graduation will be experienced from living rooms instead of stadiums. Summer internship or job offers could be pulled or modified. The semester you had finally put so much effort into might not turn around your GPA as you would have hoped. Making rent and buying essentials could be a daily struggle for your family. And though I don’t hope this to be the case, someone in your family or social circle may pass away long before you ever thought they would. No one can deny these realities nor how extremely painful some of them are.
But in the midst of what appears to be a great darkness, remember that circumstances are always changing. If circumstances dictated our faith and hope, we would be doomed for a life ruled by vicious anxiety. We must anchor ourselves to something unchanging – the life, death, and resurrection of Christ himself. Because he paid it all, we have it all. Instead of being dead in our sins, we have an inheritance that is, “imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:4b).
COVID might be the first great crisis you have faced in your lifetime, but I assure you it will not be the last. The well-intentioned yet sometimes overly protective reach of parents might have shielded you from seeing the full brokenness of the world that has been there all along. And if not external, you may face internal battles. The existential struggle to validate your existence, constantly comparing your path to that of your peers, and wondering if you’ll ever be able to shake the demons that haunt you.
If right now feels like a type of hell, remember that while Christ doesn’t promise to erase our suffering, he does promise that he is with us every painful step of the way (Isaiah 53:4). He entered into our world not as a thief who takes away our hopes and dreams, but rather as the giver of life, that we may “have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).
Throughout whatever lies ahead, I encourage you to press on with your full hope and confidence in the one who cares and provides even for the lilies of the field. I hope that at the end of this season, you and I will be able to more confidently share in Paul’s sentiment when he declares,
“for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” – Phil. 4:11b-13