“Who do you confess your sins to in the church?” Ask this question to Chinese pastors, and you might be hard pressed to find concrete answers. What about the Chinese cultural context makes it so difficult to bear one another’s burdens in this way?
Coming to Christ in a Chinese church and now serving in one as a pastor for 20 years, there is much I appreciate about ministering in a Chinese American context. Some of the strengths in the Chinese church includes honoring elders, seeking harmony, and patiently working towards unity in the church. I am thankful for my previous Chinese senior pastor’s emphasis on Philippians 2. He encouraged each language congregation to consider the needs of the other language congregation as more important than our own so we might dwell together in unity.
However, sometimes the cultural values I appreciate are emphasized too much to the detriment of other biblical instruction. I have found that confessing sin can be conspicuously missing in many Asian churches. I remember reading James 5:16 and wondering how people practice that in a Chinese church because I had never seen it done before.
Confession of sin is difficult to practice in all cultures because sin is so deceptive and blinding. But in Asian culture, and specifically those based upon a Confucian worldview, there can be added barriers stemming from ingrained values. For example, when people want to save face to the point that it becomes idolatrous, it becomes unthinkable to share things that make us appear shameful or sinful.
Secondly, the value of maintaining harmony can often trump the painful work of addressing sin. Being slow to anger and also patient when wronged are truly wonderful traits. However, sometimes that can also be an excuse for ignoring sin in ourselves or the sins of others.
This reticence for addressing sin is exacerbated when people in authority or leadership are involved. According to Jackson Wu, “The most central problem in Chinese thinking is how people are to relate to one another, such that family has been called China’s “real religion” and foremost among all virtues is filial piety.… They are more group-oriented (versus individualistic) and focus on the practical aspects of life and religion. People think most basically in terms of relationships (or guanxi) not law.”1 In other words, when we are focused more on maintaining proper relationships, especially with people in authority, sin can easily be swept under the rug because we want to maintain hierarchy and not allow the one in leadership to lose face and feel shame.
Though these barriers may be difficult, they are not insurmountable because the gospel has come to transform us both individually and corporately. In fact, the gospel purposely has come to those who are lowly (1 Cor 1:26) and need God’s mercy. Jesus said that he came for the sick rather than the healthy who have no need of a physician (Mk 2:17). The kingdom of God is given to those who are poor in spirit and know they are poor in spirit (Mt 5:3). As believers we belong to an upside-down kingdom in which confession of sin can actually become part of a new culture that aims for poverty of spirit. In fact, our churches could be known for a culture of dependence upon Christ rather than a shame-honor culture. One way this could happen is for a church to learn how to confess our sins to one another so that we may be healed.
But what does this look like in practice? How do we get better at confessing our own sin and helping others to do the same? We can start with learning to speak more openly, moving towards others, and listening well.
Speaking Openly
When I ask a Chinese person how they are doing, they tend to speak quickly about their family, their job, or their children but often neglect to tell me how they, personally, are doing within those circumstances. Part of this might have to do with the fact that it is hard to offer a quick answer about how they are actually doing, and part might have to do with the Asian value of thinking collectively. For example, if my parents are happy with me, then I am doing well. Or if my children are successful, then I am doing well.
However, we can grow in speaking openly by not only talking about our family or situation, but also in how I am relating to my family or situation. This would include how it might be hard for me, how I am learning to love them, or where I am messing up. This would then lead to asking for prayer for me, not just for my circumstances. When we tell others how we are doing and how we need prayer, it also helps us to share about our situations without throwing anyone else (like a difficult family member) under the bus. For example, as a parent we can share not only about the challenges of parenting but also our own need for God’s mercy and patience and how we need to learn what it means that love is patient. This can easily lead to confession of sins such as impatience, anger or the love of ease and comfort.
Moving Towards Others and Listening Well
Often in Asian churches, it is not just the person who shares that is reluctant to speak—the listener can feel a similar reticence. They fear asking personal questions because it can be considered intruding into the other person’s private life, causing embarrassment to all. To overcome this, we must remember a few biblical truths. The first is that no one actually wants to be alone, because God created us for fellowship (1 John 1:3–9). This motivates us to move towards others. We must also remember that it is good for all of us to walk in the light and to live openly before the Lord (James 5:16). Finally, we move toward others because God first moved toward us. He spoke to Adam in the garden even though Adam was ashamed, naked, and hiding. In boldly moving towards another, it could begin as simply as initiating conversation or just asking one more question to learn how that other person is doing. It is rare to find a person who will ask questions to find out how we are doing and then stick around long enough to listen, engage and follow up at a later time.
However, in our busy schedules, listening can be slow work. Also, people usually do not begin conversations with confession of sin but rather with small talk or superficial conversation. But we must be good, thoughtful listeners even to small talk because people will test to see how well we listen to smaller things before they share more intimately.
I have found that as I take the time for small talk, and gradually move toward harder, more personal concerns, Chinese people often do want to share what is on their heart, but are not sure if I really want to hear them or will take what they have to say seriously. However, the more we talk—and the more I share my own thoughts or experiences—the more normal these struggles appear, and shame is lessened. After all, 1 Corinthians 10:13 reminds us that there is no temptation that is not common to all people.
These are only the beginning steps we can practice to grow in our confession of sin in our Asian churches. But even small steps matter to God and to others. And, if they are practiced over time, then even a whole culture can be transformed by God and the gracious mercies of Christ can be mediated through the body of Christ and our conversations with one another.
This article was originally published at CCEF and has been condensed and edited with the author’s permission.
Photo Credit: Na Visky