I imagine that parents and churches may have heard the alarming statistics related to teens and mental health disseminated by national organizations like the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) or the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). According to the CDC, in 2023, 40% of high school students experienced persistent sadness or hopelessness almost every day for two weeks or more in a row. In addition, 20% of high school students seriously considered attempting suicide, 16% made a suicide plan, and 9% made a suicide attempt. According to NAMI, 1 in 6 U.S. youths aged 6-17 years old experience a mental health disorder each year. They also reported that suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people aged 10-14 and the 3rd leading cause of death among those aged 15-24. Often, those who are suicidal have underlying mental health conditions like depression.
The American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Adolescence adds that 9.5% of teenagers experience anxiety that interferes with their everyday functioning, and around 4.5% live with depression. It’s hard for parents and churches to ignore how many teenagers are suffering from mental health issues—some struggling with more severe mental illness than others. While many families and churches care deeply for teens who face struggles and suffering, not much attention might be given, or little action might be taken. As a result, teens often struggle alone or turn to other sources, like social media, for help.
I am a licensed psychologist in private practice and a biblical counselor at my local church. But before I began working in this helping profession and ministry, I grew up in an Asian immigrant family that did not give much thought or space to the idea of seeking professional help for social-emotional-psychological problems. We were an immigrant family that went to church and loved Jesus. We understood that if we had any social-emotional-psychological issues, we could and should take them to Christ. Praying was a foundational spiritual discipline. We were also taught that any social-emotional-psychological issue could be addressed through a biblical and spiritual lens. We needed to depend on Jesus and the truths of God through grace. That was very important—and it still is foundational to me.
However, as I began working with teens and families in a Korean American church and a Christian counseling organization, I encountered people with more severe mental health issues like debilitating depression, anorexia, and early signs of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I then felt a personal calling to receive more training outside of my seminary degree, to understand how brokenness and suffering from more severe mental health issues might impact people and how the common grace of God could help—because every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17; ESV). My training and work as a counseling psychologist encountering people who suffered from very severe mental health issues deepened my belief in our need for the saving power of God’s grace through Christ but also broadened my understanding of God’s compassion and mercy through his common grace for his creatures and creation. The Psalmist in Psalm 145:8-9 extolled God’s sovereignty over all, “The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.” (ESV)
So, how can parents and the church respond to the hardships that many teens might face? It’s important to reflect on what might make it difficult to address mental health issues or seek professional help for teens. Several concerns often act as barriers and these barriers are important for parents and churches to consider:
Parents Feel Shame
Many parents feel shame or stigma around seeking professional counseling, believing they’ve failed as parents or will be blamed. From these feelings of shame and fear of blame, they might stay silent and not talk to their teens about care for their social-emotional-psychological struggles. They may think if they were better parents or if their teenagers followed their guidance, there would be no problems. However, the brokenness in our world and our families can get really, really messy—even if you did your best. Contributors to mental health issues are complex and not fully understood.
As Christians, while we know that mental health issues truly stem from sin and the brokenness of the world following the Fall, we often feel stuck in knowing how to help. Parents, when you feel that shame, please don’t run away from it or try to ignore it. Without realizing it, shame can silence and move you away from drawing near to your teen and their social-emotional pain. Rather, when you feel that shame, draw evermore near to Jesus and believe that because of grace, Psalm 31:1-3 is real now—“ In you, O LORD, do I take refuge; let me never be put to shame; in your righteousness deliver me! Incline your ear to me; rescue me speedily! Be a rock of refuge for me, a strong fortress to save me! For you are my rock and my fortress; and for your name’s sake you lead me and guide me” (ESV).
Parents and Churches Are Wary of the World
I understand—as Christians, we long for our teenagers to believe in Jesus and have a deep relationship with him. Parents and churches hope that teenagers’ faith will guide them through their social-emotional-psychological issues. Parents and churches might feel wary of the influences of the world and want to protect their hearts and their minds. Many passages in the Bible that speak about not conforming to the world’s values including John 15:19 (“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”) or Romans 12:2 (“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”).
Due to the wariness of living in the world, rather than talking directly to teenagers about their concerns, they might hope and pray that God would rescue them. While that is essential, what is additionally vital, is to directly open up conversations with teenagers regarding their concerns and need for greater support and help. You can have a thoughtful and interactive conversation about seeking a professional counselor who has experience treating particular social-emotional-psychological issues teenagers face. You can also have ongoing conversations about how faith can undergird this professional help.
Parents and Churches Use a “Wait and See” Approach
Some parents and churches may take a “wait and see” approach, assuming that a teen’s struggles are simply a phase. This is common, but research shows that in the U.S., the national prevalence of at least one mental health condition in youths under the age of 18 was 16.5% and the national prevalence of youths with a mental health condition who did not receive needed counseling from a professional counselor was 49.4%. In addition, one study showed that the average delay between the onset of mental illness symptoms and getting professional help is 11 years.
Rather than using the “wait and see” approach, look out for signs that your teen may need more help—even professional help—with their struggles. Then, talk to them about your concerns and listen to them well. Discuss together whether they are open to seeking professional help. Come up with a plan together. Addressing these issues early can make a significant difference in a teenager’s life.
Some of the warning signs that teens may need professional help include mood swings, irritability, anger, and tearfulness along with other behavioral signs like withdrawal from usual activities, friends and family, noticeable changes in sleep or eating habits, and declining academic performance. Additional signs to watch for include substance use issues or self-harm. Even before looking for warning signs, parents and churches can be proactive by making it normal to talk about any level of social-emotional struggles.
Parents Question Whether Counseling is Worth the Cost
Cost is a legitimate concern, especially since not all counselors are covered by insurance, and those who are may not always be the right fit. However, investing in a teen’s mental health condition can provide some relief from suffering. While God is concerned about our salvation from sin and death and calls us to walk in obedience, he is also concerned about your teen’s suffering and their mental health. Jesus came to redeem us but also reverse the curse of sin on earth as it is in heaven. It is a worthy investment to pursue professional help for the well-being of our teens.
Addressing teens’ mental health is both a pressing and complex issue, one that requires faith, courage, and humility through the grace of God in Christ Jesus from both parents and the church. Recognizing the barriers—such as shame, wariness of worldly influences, a tendency to “wait and see,” and concerns about costs—can help parents and churches to press even more into the mercy and compassion of God that can be available through professional counseling. In doing so, professional counseling can provide teens with the support they need and help parents know they are not alone in caring for their teen. After discussing with their teens about their need for professional counseling, parents and their teens can consult with their pediatrician, school, and church to begin exploring counseling referrals appropriate for their teen’s specific mental health issues.
This article is part of our Teen Mental Health Series.
Photo Credit: Matt Whitacre