David’s life and legacy can often be reconstructed by key relationships in his life.
- David and Goliath – Goliath was the proto-enemy who mocked God’s people. Every child in Sunday School knows how David defeated this impossible enemy through faith.
- David and Saul – Saul was the person with ultimate power as king and father-in-law who turned against David out of jealousy and insecurity. Young leaders often connect with the story of serving under an authority figure who is insecure or even abusive.
- David and Jonathan – Jonathan is the loyal friend we all long for; as Scripture says, “the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1).
- David and Absalom – If Saul betrayed David from above, Absalom betrayed David from below. This story reminds leaders how painful betrayal can be when it comes from someone close—maybe a staff member, a direct report, or even a spiritual son or daughter.
- David and Bathsheba – And then, of course, Bathsheba. David abused his authority to violate Bathsheba and murder her husband. We are warned against the Bathsheba’s in our lives.
But there’s one more relationship we don’t talk about as often. In many ways, this relationship was most critical to David’s legacy.
David and Nathan
The story of Nathan begins with the spiritual inattention of David. In 2 Samuel 11, during the season “when kings go out to battle . . . David remained at Jerusalem.” In a matter of one chapter, David proceeds to rape and impregnate Bathsheba, has her husband Uriah murdered, and attempts to cover everything up by marrying her. The whispers around the palace must have been deafening. But no one—not the messenger who reminded David that Bathsheba was married, nor Joab who carried out the death of Uriah—intervened. They were afraid.
However, in 2 Samuel 12, “the Lord sent Nathan to David” (v. 1). Nathan, the prophet, tells a story of a grave injustice: a rich man who steals a lamb from a poor man. This compels David to declare, “the man who has done this deserves to die” (v. 5).
It must have taken all the courage Nathan could muster. Nathan looked David in the eye and declared, “You are the man!” (v. 7).
David’s Insulation
By this time in his career, David had piled up years of goodwill from the people around him as the shepherd poet, slayer of giant, best friend of the prince, loyal soldier to a mad king, and conqueror of enemies. David is still identified as the pinnacle of the nation’s piety and power. He was the king the people had waited for—a king who could do no wrong.
Unfortunately, success often invites insulation.
Because of David’s position as king, nearly every person he interacted with was his subject. Their livelihoods—and even their lives—depended on him. Even if they knew David had sinned and committed a grave injustice, they dared not speak the truth for fear. Even the best of them could have made excuses that it was better for the nation to keep this secret than to risk chaos. They could easily say, “At least it’s not as bad as the days of mad Saul.”
The Leaders’ Insulation
Unfortunately, the same continues to happen in the church today. It often begins with a young, gifted leader with great heart, character, and effectiveness. Many people can testify to the ways God has used this leader. They can also see how this leader was unfairly slandered (like Saul’s treatment of David) but stood with integrity. They determine to protect him. But that protection often insulates the leader, not only from unfair slander but also from needed accountability. The irony is that success in ministry often leads to the insulation of the leader.
A few years ago, it came to light—posthumously—that a well-known Christian apologist had committed sexual misconduct and abuse. Investigations found that there were people in his organization who knew and should have known. But they turned a blind eye, refused to believe it, made excuses, or even silenced those who would not go along.
They made the mistake we so often make. We believe leaders are either consistently good and can do no wrong, or consistently bad and can do no good. But that is not the case. Think of the humblest, God-loving, high-integrity, transparent leader you know. It’s hard to imagine that leader falling. Neither could any of David’s followers.
No leader is consistently good all the time. Even the best leader will fall at some point. And when they do, the leader needs a Nathan. We all need a Nathan.
What Is a Nathan?
What made Nathan uniquely important to David in that season when he was insulated and enabled? Three qualities stand out:
- A Nathan knows you well enough to know when you are not being truthful. We may have dozens of friends, but only a select few can look into our eyes and discern whether we are being entirely truthful. A spiritual board of directors who are spread across the country may be wise, but they can still be easily deceived. A Nathan discerns when you are hiding.
- A Nathan cares for you enough to risk personal loss to call you out, even publicly.
Our natural tendency is to want to be liked. Confronting a leader’s sin is not fun—and it can be dangerous. There is the risk of being accused of hypocrisy, being unloving, or not being grace-filled. Who wants to be the one who confronts a beloved pastor for being abusive or adulterous? But Proverbs 27:6 reminds us, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Sometimes the most loving thing a friend can do is wound you with the truth.
- A Nathan is aligned with the will of God for your life.
Nathan didn’t confront David because he felt morally superior or simply out of compassion—though that may have been true. The fact is, “The Lord sent Nathan to David” (2 Samuel 12:1). Nathan was in a unique position as a prophet to bring God’s Word into David’s life. We need people in our lives who fear God more than their friendship with us.
Where Is Your Nathan?
If you are a ministry leader, let me ask you: Who is your Nathan?
- Who knows you well enough to notice when you’re hiding?
- Who cares for you enough to risk your friendship in order to tell you the truth?
- Who is aligned with God’s will, willing to bring his Word into your life even when it hurts?
We often talk about the need for a Jonathan in our lives, someone who is loyal at all times. We are blessed if we do have a Jonathan in our lives. But during other seasons in our lives, we need a Nathan more than a Jonathan.
Jonathan will stand with you. Nathan will save you.
Pray for one. Seek one. Invest in one.
This article is part of the Leaders’ Line blog, written by various leaders and geared specifically toward those serving in leadership. Our email newsletter goes out twice a month. In addition to Leaders’ Line articles, each newsletter includes news and notes curated especially for ministry leaders. Sign up here to receive it directly in your inbox.