On January 26, 2020, Kobe Bryant was killed in a helicopter accident at the age of 41. He was also with his 13-year-old daughter, Gianna and seven others. Kobe frequently travels by helicopter, and they were all headed to his daughter’s basketball game with seven others.
Kobe Bryant played for the Los Angeles Lakers for 20 years but transcended the sport as an international icon who inspired millions. After his retirement, Kobe transitioned from being an athlete to a storyteller who has written books, made podcasts and, even has won an Oscar.
After the tragic loss, thousands immediately gathered at Staples Center, the home of the Los Angeles Lakers, to mourn together, and many continue to do so. Social media and news outlets have been flooded with updates, stories, memories, and tributes to the sports legend. But why did the death of Kobe affect not just basketball fans but so many others? How can we respond to those around us who are grieving?
The Fragility of Life
The topic of death usually does not go far beyond our smallest familial or friend circles because of how heavy and personal it is. But the death of a celebrity is unique because famous individuals have greater influence and go beyond just family and friends. So when someone like Kobe pass away, millions are affected and people are reminded that death is a reality. To be around and to think about death gives us proper perspective to just how fragile life is.
Athletes and celebrities are often regarded as being larger than life, but the death of Kobe Bryant is yet another reminder that celebrities are human. They hurt, they bleed, and they die, just like us. Kobe may be remembered by most as an athlete but he was also a husband, a father, a son, a brother and a person.
Death is inescapable no matter the talent, the status or wealth. Death is also unpredictable because only God knows when our last breath is. And if someone like Kobe passed away, then we are soberly reminded that certainly we too will pass away.
Preacher and theologian Jonathan Edwards resolved to “think much on all occasions of my own dying,” and occasions like this make us face our mortality. Perhaps we should think about our own deaths more often because it helps us to focus on how we live our lives. More than ever, people are reminded to appreciate our moments, embrace our loved ones and cherish what we have.
A Relationship with Kobe
Former coaches, teammates, and friends of Kobe Bryant have spoken up and shared stories and memories they made with him. Since they knew him and had a relationship with him, it makes sense that they are grieving. But if you are wondering why so many other people are also mourning his death, it’s because fans also have had a relationship with Kobe, although it is not as personal or intimate.
Those who have been following his career and journey have seen him grow up, succeed, fail and mature. Although the amount of grief is not the same for everyone, they resonate or connect with something about Kobe, which is why his passing feels like a loss. Although Kobe didn’t know all his fans and followers, they definitely had a relationship with him.
Being born and raised in Los Angeles, I grew up a Lakers fan, but more specifically a Kobe fan. I first watched Kobe play in 1997 when I was in 3rd grade, and I have been a fan ever since. I have seen Kobe go through the ups and downs of overcoming adversity, winning championships and becoming a family man but also having to deal with injuries, family problems, and the sexual assault scandal.
It wasn’t just me watching Kobe grow up and play, but it was also Kobe being in the background for so many of my moments, hardships and milestones. I admit my fandom is idolatrous, excessive and sinful at times but there’s a reason for that. For many people, Kobe has been in their lives longer than their parents, spouses, and best friends because of his 20-year career. For many people, including myself, they have been Kobe fans longer than they have been Christian. So to many fans, we had a relationship with Kobe and his death does feel like a death of a loved one.
How To Respond to the Death of Kobe
When the news broke about the death of Kobe Bryant on Sunday, people began to grieve but people grieve differently. Mourning the death of Kobe Bryant or anyone else is painful and difficult. You may not be familiar with the person who passed, feel indifferent towards them or not like them at all, but we are called to love those around us. So how can we do it well?
#1: Grieve With Those Who Grieve
Upon seeing others grieve over the death of Lazarus, it says in John 11:35 “Jesus wept.” For those who are grieving, we can grieve with them. There is no timetable for grieving; it may take an hour, a day, a week, a year or a lifetime.
I’ve heard grieving with others described as seeing someone on a bench in pain. Sometimes we want them to pull them up so that they get up and move on, or tell them that their pain isn’t as bad as someone else. But neither of those actions are very loving, and I know I wouldn’t want that. Perhaps it would be more helpful to simply sit down with that person who is hurting, sometimes in silence, sometimes with questions and a listening ear, and waiting for that person to get up and move on when they are ready. Watching videos, seeing other fans cry, share stories, memories and thoughts have been helpful for me as I grieve. I think this is why fans continue to gather at Staples Center — people want others to grieve with. In a way, as we listen and share ourselves, it is like community grief support.
Jesus was a “man of sorrows” (Isa. 53:3) who cries with us and who grieve the death of Kobe and anyone else. Jesus wept with those who are hurting and grieves with those who are grieving. There is a time to challenge, rebuke and speak truth, but for those who are grieving, it’s appropriate to grieve with them. Even if we don’t have others to grieve with, we can take comfort as we grieve with our God.
#2: Pray For Those Who Are Hurting
As Jesus Himself received the shocking news of John the Baptist’s death, a family member of Jesus, it says in Matthew 14:13 that “Jesus withdrew.” Often when Jesus withdrew, it was a period of time that He spent with His Father in prayer.
There were nine deaths total in the helicopter crash, including Kobe Bryant and his teenage daughter Gianna. Kobe leaves behind his wife Vanessa and his three other daughters: Natalia (17 years old), Bianka (3 years old) and Capri (7 months).
Coach John Altobelli, Keri, his wife and Alyssa, their 13-year-old daughter were also in the helicopter. Christina Mauser, the assistant basketball coach to Gianna and Alyssa was
also in the chopper, along with mom Sarah Chester and her 13-year-old daughter, Payton. The pilot, Ara Zobayan, also died in the crash.
Prayer is powerful and it may just be the best thing we can do for those who are hurting and grieving. Ask God to give their family and friends comfort, peace, hope, strength, and salvation. Those closest to this horrible accident need prayer, those who are mourning and grieving need prayer, and quite frankly we all need prayer because we all need Jesus.
The death of Kobe Bryant was shocking, but it is also a great reminder that life is short and our time is precious so we must spend it well by living for His glory. For those who are grieving, it may take time but grieve with others and grieve with God. For those who see others around them grieving and hurting, talk, listen and pray for them. It seems like that’s how Jesus would respond.