In my experience working directly with the youth in my church, I’ve observed the significant pressures they face—both in terms of performance expectations and the challenge of conforming to the culture. In Grounded in Grace, Jonathan D. Holmes writes on helping kids build their identity in Christ.
An Excellent Theology of Identity
While Grounded in Grace is primarily addressed to parents, it offers valuable wisdom for church youth workers and public school teachers, too. Holmes emphasizes that parents are God’s chosen ambassadors for the crucial task of shaping their children’s identities. He shows that children should not earn their identity from their parents (the traditional model) or create their identity themselves (the modern model). Instead, children can receive, not achieve, their identity in the Gospel of Christ.
This book offers an excellent theology of identity, drawing on Holmes’ extensive experience as Founder and Executive Director of Fieldstone Counseling, his pastoral service at Parkside Church and Parkside Green, his leadership at CCEF (Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation), and his teaching at Westminster Theological Seminary. He integrates scientific research and insights from professionals to support his arguments, but ultimately anchors his claims in the Bible.
Entrusting our Children to the Lord
I found the middle section of the book particularly practical, as it explores various areas where children develop their identities. Holmes offers sound guidance for parents, including the importance of reflecting on our own values regarding academics, prioritizing character development over academic achievement, collaborating with our children on expectations, and working through heart issues together. The additional chapters on athletics, and moralism/good works are well-written and informative.
The final section of the book addresses gender identity and sexual orientation. While these are huge topics, Holmes makes them manageable. I was most encouraged by Holmes’ advocacy for a balanced approach that avoids both underreaction and overreaction. He emphasizes the importance of engaging with compassion, committing to a long-term supportive presence, and ultimately entrusting our children to the Lord.
Rooted in the Gospel
I reflected on my own journey of identity while reading this book. As a millennial Asian American, I navigated both traditional and modern models of identity formation. Holmes has helped me see what a blessing it is that both of my parents pointed me to Christ. I hope I can do the same for my kids as well.
The book ends with an exhortation to serve our sons and daughters by speaking the words of the Lord and sharing the Good News. Grounded in Grace is a much needed book that tackles modern thinking with timeless truths, preparing us to do our best in keeping our children rooted in the Gospel.
I received a media copy of Grounded in Grace and this is my honest review.