Editor’s Note: Part one of this series can be found here.
When choosing a professional counselor, you’ll come across many counselors with various backgrounds, credentials, and experiences. It can be overwhelming to stare at a long list of counselors and not know where to start. Or, perhaps, the scarcity of your options makes you anxious and paralyzed to take any steps.
People often ask me, “What should I look for in a professional counselor? How do I know if they’ll be good for me?” Among many considerations, I like to emphasize at least a couple factors to give a broad picture of what’s important.
Worldview Matters
There are some essential qualities that we all want in our counselors, and any good counselor should possess not only a certain level of competency and experience, but also certain character qualities. And while recognizing the manifold ways that any skillful counselor can help you, one important consideration is the counselor’s worldview.
A worldview gives us a narrative of the world that helps us understand who we are, why we’re here, what is important, and what we should live for. It is the larger frame in which we make sense of our lives. And a counselor’s worldview informs their understanding of what it means to be human and what a flourishing human being looks like. Often, the way they understand us and counsel us arises out of their worldview. So we want to ensure that we are pointed in directions that are towards God’s will and purpose for our lives.
Some years ago, I was talking to a Christian friend who was seeing a therapist (who identified as a Christian), and I mentioned, “I’ve been feeling pretty bad about neglecting my friendships lately. I should prioritize them.” Immediately she jumped to respond, “There is no ‘should’! You don’t have to tell yourself to do anything.”
I learned eventually that she and her therapist were working on restructuring her thought patterns. She was learning to catch herself in moments when she thought she ‘should’ do something, and to discriminate among the many moral obligations and social expectations she faced. She was ‘un-learning’ the feeling of obligation to things she didn’t personally choose to care about. By internalizing her newfound freedom from “false” sources of obligation and guilt, she felt empowered to choose what mattered to her and experienced greater happiness.
The counsel that this woman received from her counselor was rooted in a particular worldview. Like all worldviews, it made assumptions about what was right and wrong, prizing autonomy and freedom and happiness and minimizing obligations to the people in our lives. The underlying message was, “We don’t owe anyone anything we didn’t personally choose to care about. Don’t let anyone place any external obligations on you. There is no ‘should.’”
But does that counsel fit with a biblical worldview? Does Jesus call us to love and serve others in ways that might cost us our personal autonomy and freedom? If you are a Christian, we need to be mindful and discerning about the larger worldview commitments that a counselor holds. Simply put, worldview matters.
Dependence on Christ Matters
In general, people seek counseling because they want to “fix” their problems. In our modern culture that often means: learning how to cope better with our distressing situations; managing and reducing symptoms of our psychological distress; becoming a happier person; changing our thinking patterns; and so on.
While these goals are good in and of themselves, they can all be pursued without God entering the picture. For example, if a person is experiencing debilitating anxiety and panic attacks, they can discover the situational and biological triggers, learn effective coping strategies to manage the symptoms, and consider medication to alleviate panic attacks. But at the same time, Christians can aim for goals beyond acquiring coping skills, reducing distress, and alleviating symptoms.
Take John, for example1. He comes to me seeking counseling for depression and anxiety while suffering from chronic pain. He’s devastated at the prospect of never fully recovering from his condition and losing the ability to play music, one of his greatest joys.
As we met, I came to realize John’s limited understanding of how his faith in Christ was relevant to his anxiety, depression, and chronic pain. His primary desire was to gain “practical” tools for coping, while his “spiritual” life was a separate compartment that was to be revitalized through spiritual disciplines.
So there was a disconnect. John did not see his faith in Jesus as something organically connected to and practically relevant for his personal struggles. Together, we explored what it would mean for Jesus to become relevant to his anxiety and hopelessness in his everyday experience. What did it look like for him to actively trust God and for that to make a practical difference in how he faced his troubles? What does it look like to suffer well in Christ?
Through this process, John began to bring his faith into his experience of anxiety and depression by learning to lament before God. For the first time, he brought his honest woes, and specific complaints and sorrows to the Lord (Psalm 18:6). John cried out to God in his pain and fears. This was not a once-and-done exercise, but launched a new way forward in relating to God in the midst of his pain, grief, and devastation. And as John’s dependence on Christ started to become more tangible, it began to change the way he moved through his day-to-day life.
Like John, you can consider how your counseling goals and the change process are shaping who you’re becoming. Are you becoming more like Christ? Are you growing into a more radiant image of God? Are you trusting and depending on Christ more through your counseling process? Are you growing to love God and love others more? Ultimately, we want to grow to depend on Jesus more in our weakness.
Choose Wisely
I’ve highlighted just a couple things to give you a feel for what you might want to see entailed in your counseling journey.
There are many other practical factors to weigh – finances and insurance, gender, cultural competency, credentials, and specializations, to name a few. Some of these factors may have greater salience and priority for you than others. But as you navigate your options, consider these broader categories and practical questions to gather helpful information:
1. Counseling Approach
- How does the counselor describe their approach to counseling?
- What role does Scripture play in their understanding of persons? How do they understand people’s problems?
- How does their worldview inform their counseling methodology?
2. Counseling Goals
- What is the process like in developing counseling goals together with their counselees?
- What are some examples of counseling goals for anxiety, depression, etc.?
- How does Scripture shape counseling goals and the change process (if any)?
3. Recommended Resources
- What books or other resources do they recommend to counseless?
- What books have most influenced or shaped their counseling approach?
- What recent books are shaping their counseling approach on certain issues?
Jot down the counselor’s responses and discuss them with a trusted pastor, elder, or wise Christian friend to evaluate them.
While choosing a professional counselor can feel overwhelming, we can find peace in the process knowing the one who is with us. Our God is our wonderful counselor (Isa 9:6), he hears your cries for help (Ps 34:17), and he promises to faithfully and personally counsel us amid every trouble we face (Ps 32:8). So, take heart, as you explore your options and choose wisely.
Photo Credit: Caleb Jones