Being an immigrant is undoubtedly challenging, but the hurdles can be even more daunting for immigrant women. Leaving one’s country of origin and starting anew in a foreign land is a complex journey.
Let me introduce you to Prakriti, a woman in her mid-forties who made life-altering changes at a young age to secure a “better” future. Like many parents, Prakriti’s parents expected her and her sisters to carve out financially rewarding careers for themselves—money equals success. So, as she grew up in India, Prakriti was strongly encouraged to pursue a career in technology.
But as a person who enjoyed talking and connecting with people, Prakriti hated sitting behind a computer. She wanted to work directly with people or be a homemaker. But liking your job or spending the day with children was not a priority. Instead, what the job brought to the table was important.
When Prakriti married, she moved to the United States on a dependent visa. The move excited her as she believed she would find more opportunities. But rather than working in a customer-facing role, she had to once again rely on her computer skills to support her family.
Her career in technology helped her avoid embarrassment on those monthly calls to India. Everyone wanted to know what it was like living in a new country, and telling them she was working a customer-facing job or being a homemaker would have felt shameful. She tried to make her mother proud, and she wanted to support her husband and their family financially. She did not love the job, but it paid the bills, so why not keep it?
The dream of moving to another country and exploring the American dream did not match reality. Surviving in the United States was more important:
“My cultural expectations followed me even though I thought I had escaped. The American dream is not real and feasible, not for an immigrant like me. Parental pressure, cultural expectations, and the family always come before my dreams. We have to work hard to make an income, and for the people in India, more money means more success. So, I cannot do whatever I want, even though that’s what I thought the American dream was. I must do what suits my family and say no to my dreams.”
Prakriti sought solace and community in the Indian immigrant church. However, to her disappointment, the church’s culture significantly emphasized full-time employment, creating added pressure for her to conform.
She had thought this community would be a place of encouragement and hope. Sadly, it was neither. The pressure to work full-time was intense as a career brought respect in the church community. Being a homemaker was considered something you do in the interim while finding a job and getting your work permit or H1B Visa.
So the pressure of being an immigrant who has “made it” dominated Prakriti’s life. She stayed with jobs she did not enjoy, primarily for income and self-worth. Her choices affected her marriage and parenting. After two decades, she wished she could have done things differently.
The Journey of Indian Immigrant Women
Every woman faces challenges, but immigrant women face additional obstacles. Their experiences of post-migration loss—family, social networks, ease of communication—and limited access to cultural enclaves make it extremely difficult to transition to a new culture and country. In addition, these women go through post-traumatic stress and need to grieve before finding a way to acculturate into a new society.
As an Indian immigrant woman, I have spent most of my years working from home, or as I call myself, as the CEO of our home. Today, in my forties, I look back at my life and see that ambition never played a huge role. I even wonder if my lack of ambition impacted me negatively. However, the choice between working from home or outside the house has always been challenging for women, especially immigrant women.
The journey of Christian Indian immigrant women in the United States has never been easy. In the early years, after the Indian Immigration Act of 1965, most women who came and worked full-time here were nurses and academics. Over the years, with all the engineers and computer scientists who have migrated to the U.S. (and the stereotype of Asians doing well in math), Indian men and women gravitate toward jobs in technology and software. Women, in particular, must figure out whether to reinvent themselves or find work in the tech industry.
Women also realize by moving here, they cannot have it all. Working full-time and raising a family in India is possible because one can find help with a maid, nanny, or grandparents. Immigrant life in the United States doesn’t always afford that luxury. The choice between career and vocation is no longer a viable option for many women.
The Impact of Cultural Shifts on Indian Immigrant Women
When Indian families move to the US, they navigate substantial cultural shifts. The women are responsible for maintaining the cultural bridges between their families and country of origin. In the early years after immigration, access to the immigrant community is limited, and the responsibility of parenting often falls to the mothers.
As a result, immigrant women often find themselves amid intergenerational conflict. Their community challenges their norms; usually, there are conflicts between individualistic and collective societal needs and expectations.
In the tapestry of life, the journey of Indian immigrant women weaves a story of resilience, courage, and adaptation. Navigating the complexities of cultural shifts, family expectations, and career choices, these women face unique challenges in pursuing their dreams. While the road may be arduous, their tenacity shines through as they redefine their identities individually and collectively.
Work for All of Us
As we reflect on the intersection of immigrant life and the theology of work, it becomes evident that pursuing secular and sacred aspects should harmonize, not compete. Just as Nehemiah found purpose and divine guidance in his secular role as a cupbearer and his sacred mission to rebuild the wall, so should we seek the integration of our careers and faith.
The inspiring stories of women in the Bible, like Lydia, Phoebe, Euodia, Synteche, or Apphia and Priscilla, demonstrate that work has always been an integral part of women’s lives, and they have embraced diverse roles in various trades. It is a reminder that God calls us all to unique and meaningful work, whether in the corporate world, parenting, homemaking, volunteering, or community-building.
During her journey as a career woman, there was a season when Prakriti was laid off. She found it extremely hard to go from working full-time to being home all day. Her identity and value were wrapped up in working full-time.
Unfortunately, she could not find another job immediately and found herself with a lot of time. After spending months wallowing in self-pity, she picked herself up and decided to enjoy this new pace of life. She got involved in serving with her local community food drives and jumped into the PTA at her daughter’s school, ending up being one of the Band Booster Club Moms.
She thrived in her new role. Her natural organizational and communication skills served her and the Booster Club well. All the students loved her and came to her for band lunches or a quick hug and chat. Prakriti loved helping and spending time with her daughter and the other students but was also thankful she could spend quality time with her family during the last few years of high school. If she had continued to work 10-12 hour days, she would have lost out on those precious years. Through this journey, she has learned to identify her purpose in life as glorifying God in all that she does and not just in her career.
While the tension between our callings and current circumstances may persist, our work should ultimately glorify God and contribute to His kingdom regardless of its nature.
As we celebrate the accomplishments and fortitude of Indian immigrant women, let us remember that their journey represents a shared human experience. We can learn from their stories, recognizing the resilience to embrace change and the courage to forge new paths.
In this ever-changing world, may we all find the balance between ambition and contentment, navigating our dreams amidst traditions and family values. May we each discover the joy of pursuing our callings with an active faith, trusting in God’s guidance and provision.
Together, let us celebrate the strength of Indian immigrant women and work hand in hand to build a future that honors diversity, equality, and the pursuit of dreams for all.