Your cursor hovers over the red “Submit” button. This is it—the last essay of your college years. After you click, the website reads, “Your submission has been accepted.” Then there is nothing. There’s no cheering nor congratulations from your peers.
You think, “This should be more fulfilling, right?”
Because of COVID-19, many college students did not have normal senior years nor graduations. They finished school at home via Zoom. They could not enjoy their last moments on campus or participate in graduation traditions. A celebratory moment became disappointing or even discouraging.
I was part of that group and also stripped of my “normal” college experience beginning the second half of my junior year. Because of the prolonged pandemic, I finished my final two years online—away from campus, my friends, and my community.
Now that another school year has started, many of my friends have gone back to a bustling campus with in-person classes. But I cannot help but feel jealous of this graduating class. They get to experience their last first day of school on campus. They get to celebrate with all their friends in the library after submitting their last final.
I tell myself, “Be grateful that you were even able to complete college; some don’t get that privilege.” And yet, this feeling remains. It feels as if the world is moving on without me.
On top of jealousy, I feel unprepared for the working world. Generally, professors, counselors, and other advisors guide and prepare you for the “real world,” especially during your senior year. But because of the pandemic, I feel that I, as well as all of the staff and faculty, have been caught off guard. In an unstable working world, new graduates are left to fight one another trying to get an entry-level job on top of figuring out who they want to be in life. With all of these feelings and thoughts swirling through my brain, this feeling of uncertainty and the reality of entering the working world looms over me.
But if this pandemic and time in isolation have taught me anything, it is to have faith in God. (Granted, this is easier said than done.) During my last semester of Zoom University, I studied Matthew 4 for one of my Bible classes. This famous passage talks about Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness prior to beginning his ministry.
Just as Jesus was tempted, we are also being tempted in these turbulent times. It can become easy to be complacent and wallow in the feelings of uncertainty and find hope in earthly things, but there are ultimate rewards when we rely on God and have faith. I am still struggling with the journey, but I have come to understand that it is okay to not know what is to come and that being unsatisfied with the last year is valid.
In the midst of this, I have found a few ways to help come to terms with the reality of this past year that I hope you will also find helpful.
1. Find a community.
Community is essential to battling these thoughts of uncertainty, and my community was in my local church. Being plugged in has helped me focus my wandering attention through serving. It has also helped me find a group of people to walk with me in the journey of growing in my faith.
In fact, contributing to a community is essential to maturing, and it is something God even calls us to do. Although this can seem daunting—I continue to struggle from time to time to feel like I belong—I am reminded that we are all broken and stumbling along together. Through this we are able to be vulnerable, lift one another up, and grow together without judgement.
2. God has a plan.
I know this is very cliche, but it is true: God always knows what is best for us. Even though we struggle and have negative feelings, we also remember that He has us in His hands. It may seem difficult to see His plan for us, but knowing that He is with us reminds us that we are not alone nor do we have to do everything on our own.
Reminding myself that God has a plan has allowed me to relinquish control. Having the responsibility to carry out your life plan is a lot to carry, but remembering that God is sovereign makes me feel the comfort of not always being in control. I can focus on what is placed in front of me instead of worrying about this weight on my life.
3. Be in the moment.
Focusing on the moment in front of you is one of the best things to do at these times of uncertainty. When we emphasize the “what ifs,” we can get caught up in them and feel overwhelmed. But seeing the joys in front of us can shows us the beauty of the present. In Matthew 6, Jesus even reminds us to not worry for God will provide (Matthew 6:25-34).
I am guilty of stressing about the future. Uncertainty is frightening, and at times it can feel like you are sinking. But I have realized that focusing on the future only clouds my current judgement. In order for me to really work towards the future, I need to cherish the present. We are not always able to see the path ahead of us but allowing ourselves to enjoy the moment allows us to de-clutter our minds and cherish what God has provided for us.
You may have found other ways to cope with the dissatisfaction, but these are just a few I hope bless you as you walk through your journey. Life is not easy and we have seen so much pain and loss during this period of time but taking a leap of faith into the unknown can transform our dissatisfaction into contentment and eventually joy.