AALC Transcript: Power in Weakness

Let’s turn to the Book of Second Corinthians, chapter 12. Okay, verses one through 10. I’ll read it for us. This is the apostle Paul, starting in verse one. I must go on boasting though there is nothing to be gained by it, I will go on to visions and revelations of the Lord. I know a man in Christ who, 14 years ago, was caught up to the third heaven, whether in the body or out of the body, I do not know God knows. And I know that this man was caught up into Paradise, whether in the body or out of the body. I do not know God knows, and he heard things that cannot be told, which man may not utter. On behalf of this man, I will boast, but on my own behalf, I will not boast except of my weaknesses. Though, if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I’d be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. Verse seven, so to keep me from becoming conceited, because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this that he should leave me, but he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. This is the Word of God. Thanks be to God. 

So a couple years ago, at this very same place, the first annual Asian American Leadership Conference, some guy stood up here and spoke about preaching on the verge of quitting. Same guy this year is having to preach after he quit. My final Sunday at a church that I’m going to grieve and mourn for quite some time, Christ Central Southern California, was actually last Sunday. It was like a tsunami of love and outpouring of affections that my family and I are still kind of riding that way for quite some time. Same guy who told you not to quit has quit. So is this a joke? Like, who got this guy up here? I thought about a couple months ago, what can I possibly offer or say? Well, I can definitely talk about this: weakness.

I can share about my weakness and how it’s only growing and at least for me, God willing, my next chapter of gospel ministry has a lot to do with how I reflect and understand and try to learn from as much as I can from all the previous chapters. 

Truth be told, I never went to seminary, I don’t think I’ve ever studied or wanted or desired or imagined or dreamed or tried to engineer or pray for you know, Harold one day, I hope you get up there to preach on how weak you are and how much weaker you continue to feel, let alone have to feel and experience and live it in ways that I definitely did not want to. God has a great, great sense of humor, doesn’t he? It’s much better than my honor and shame culture and upbringing. It’s better to laugh. And a lifeline that hasn’t been afforded to me yet again is this remarkable passage by the apostle Paul about his life in ministry that all revolves around weakness. 

Okay, three angles will take just to help you follow along. First, the pendulum, second, the thorn, third, the paradox. The pendulum, the thorn, the paradox. 

The pendulum, the first six verses, is convoluted. It’s verbose, it’s, it’s strange. It’s, it’s strange of Apostle Paul, brilliant, logical, coherent, clear, usually, is Apostle Paul. Read the first six verses again, fumbling almost it just seems long winded. He’s like qualifying everything, caveats to everything. I will, I don’t want to. I must. I will not. I wish to. I would not all kinds of just, just like verbal salad, like all this stuff coming out. What’s wrong with him? And then he closes yes in verse nine and says, I will, because I must. I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses. He’s forced. And the reason why Apostle Paul is forced to talk about himself, he’s forced to boast, is because his credibility and his credentials have been publicly maligned, severely questioned. 

I remember back in 2006 I went to a church planters assessment right in between Christ Central Presbyterian Church in Virginia. Now at Christ Central Southern California, went to a church planters assessment and the assessors down there Atlanta told me, you know, Asian Americans Harold just your self rating. Again, you tend to underrate yourselves. Always try to score lower than maybe what other people may score you as in certain categories. Well, it’s just how I grew up. You know, most Asian Americans like, if you got a B plus, you thought you’re hopeless, like your life is over. 

And to make it worse, certain books that I read was we tend to underrate, underestimate ourselves. Is humility is to think of yourself less. Well as Asian American, I will just think, well, humility is to think less of yourself, no, but real humility is to think of yourself. Let’s just don’t think about yourself a lot. But then I read these confusing passages of the Bible, like Moses, who wrote it about himself that he was the most humble man on earth. Well, so which is it? What is humility? What is this? What am I supposed to do? I think humility is not just an internal attitude, it’s not just a culture, it’s not just an internal disposition, but it requires external obedience. Philippians, chapter two, verse eight, for example, speaks of Jesus Christ humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross. How did Jesus humble himself? He didn’t just think it internally. He didn’t just beat himself down over himself internally. He had to relocate. He went through incarnation. He went through humiliation, and he went through a crucifixion. Humility requires Yes. Humble yourselves before the Lord. James tells us that. But at the same time, if the Lord our God loves you, He will make sure to humble you as well. 

Now if you’re married along with family, the Lord loves to use your spouse and your kids. Just as Kim Kira introduced we did not orchestrate this together. My youngest daughter a couple years ago said, Dad, you’re really not funny. Well, I responded, why then do people laugh? She comes back and says, Dad, because those people are not cool and they have to. And then my incredible wife, Sonny, who was going to try to make it here this morning, her recent commentary, she’s been having a field day on pastors because of my recent transition. I shared with our church on Sunday about a week and a half ago, a couple weeks ago, I was driving in the car, and Sonny goes, you know, because we’re so moved, we’re appreciating that our church is putting on this luncheon, and several pastor friends are coming out of town to just encourage me and encourage our church. And then my wife, Sonny, would say, Harold. It reminds me. I think it’s going to be like that scene from a movie, Twilight Zone. I said, Sonny, Twilight Zone. That’s an old TV series. So my wife is already a little irritated and annoyed that I’m correcting her. And then she goes on to say, well, you know that scene where all the vampires from different sectors of society gathered together, and it’s like a reunion? I realized. And I turned back to my visit, you mean Twilight? She had confused Twilight Zone and Twilight. And then my wife muttered to herself, well, pastors are the freaks of society anyway. Now a little more on this analogy of pastors are the freaks of society. All ministry leaders who believe in a church or believe in gospel ministry. This is for all the freaks. Sonny went on to share, you know, how vampires are socially ostracized. People judge them, mock them. How come you have the one job where you need a sabbatical? What’s wrong with you? Why are you so emotional? How come pastors and ministry leaders only find comfort with other pastors. This is just like vampires. That’s our point. 

Nobody understands us. Nobody could really feel us. Nobody really knows what we go through. This is how vampires or pastors talk to one another. Well, unless you, some of you, maybe a few of you in this room are wondering, Hey, Pastor, I don’t know who you are, but are you going to talk about the Bible at all? Okay, you can pause at Scripture at some point here. Okay, let’s do that. Acts, chapter 19 verses, 11 through 12. Here’s what it reads, Acts, chapter 19, verses 11 through 12, and God was doing extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul, so that even handkerchiefs or aprons that has touched his skin were carried away to the sick, and their diseases left them, and the evil spirits came out of them. This is Paul’s friend, a physician by the name of Luke, who authored the book of Acts. He is the one describing that a piece of clothing or handkerchief of Paul could cure diseases and evil spirits which shriek and come out of people because of just some item that belonged to Apostle Paul. It’s Luke, the friend of Apostle Paul, who records his miracles. Can you tell me one letter, one verse, where Apostle Paul talks about it himself.

Acts chapter 20, the next chapter Apostle Paul was preaching a little too long. Anyone familiar with that? A young man around midnight by the name of Eutychus. Take heart when people fall asleep during your sermons. Eutychus fell asleep and he fell from the third story and he died. That’s not meant to be a joke, like he died. Verse, 10 picks up. Paul went down and bent over him, and taking him in his arms, said, Do not be alarmed, for his life is in him, and Eutychus came back to life. So your handkerchiefs cure diseases, a clothing item of yours makes demons shriek. You make dead kids come back to life. Who in the world doesn’t write a book about that, who doesn’t publicize that, who doesn’t post that all over their social media feed, who doesn’t book speaking tours, bigger stages, the show and tell of signs and wonders that so and so can do. And yet, this apostle Paul, you would have never known unless his friend wrote about it.

Well, in this chapter, he is forced about unspeakable revelations and visions that he was given because as a true apostle he was called. He was promised from day number one of his conversion that he will suffer more and because of all of his sufferings, I would imagine, God gave him such divine comforts when Paul is fumbling around with himself in the first six verses, there, I know a man. I know a guy in Jesus Christ, 14 years ago, he was caught up in the third heaven. It was paradise, and there were things uttered to him, inexpressible. Apostle Paul can’t even say it’s him, but we know it’s him. And sometimes the mark of how sacred and precious something really is is that you can’t publicize it. You wouldn’t dare share about it, but you keep it safe in private. Now even for Apostle Paul, who was not prone to boast, he’s just not that type. 

But after given the heights of ecstatic heavenly experiences and visions, God provides a thorn below. Even for Paul, God raises him up, brings him back down. Such highs, I’m sure that nobody in this room will ever be able to experience like Apostle Paul, and then yet, I will also dare to say lower lows than any of us in this room might have experienced. Why? Why such highs and lows, why inexpressible revelations and dreams and then a thorn back down below Paul explains why in verse seven, look at it again, verse seven to keep me from conceit because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations to keep me from conceit.

Friends, did you know there’s something worse than your Thorn? Did you know there’s something worse than what currently ails you and really, really devastates you. It’s conceit, pride. Conceit makes you and everyone around you miserable. Scriptures say God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. This is why, in the previous chapter, second, Corinthians, chapter 11, Paul boasts of his weaknesses because it is God who made Paul weak. It’s not an accident, it’s not just aging. It’s not misfortune, it’s not Oh, woe is me. The world is falling apart. Everything is downhill from here. No Apostle Paul boasts about his weaknesses in chapter 11 and 12, because he knows who is making and keeping him weak and if you’ve ever really come to Jesus, come to Jesus just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me. Come just as you are, and you’ll not stay just as you are. The saving, holy grace and love of Jesus. Christ accepts you, welcomes you, just as you are, nothing you have to undo, nothing you have to do. No performance, no tracker, no religiosity, no morality, no intelligence, no schooling, no background, okay, no sanctification or sinning gets in the way of you come just as you are. And do you remember what that was like when you and I just came just as we are? Did you come because you were strong? Did you come because you had it together? Did you and I come because our ministries are going well.

Now all of us came weak, broken, broken, and Jesus took us in. Now, if Jesus takes you and I in when we are at our weakest. He is happy and he wants to take, oh, broken and weary, heavy laden sinners. What if that condition is the best possible condition you and I could ever find yourself in? What if you really never get past day one. What if you’re never supposed to outgrow your conversion? What if you’re supposed to not be gooder than the grace? What if you don’t have to confirm or prove that you deserved what Christ, Jesus gives unto you, and I, when you come to Jesus the very first time. And if this be true, that that is the best possible condition you and I could ever find yourself in, then God will make sure to make you and keep you in that same condition. I think Apostle Paul is well known, Philippians chapter four, even at the ending verse 10, here of how he learned contentment in the lowest conditions of life. Paul, miraculously, because of the Holy Spirit, the presence of God in his life, learned to be content. He was never crushed. Oh, to be sure, he was tempted to be crushed. He was tempted to despair, but he was never crushed, and he never really despaired. He learned contentment in the lowest of lows. But at the same time, do we not learn from this passage, Paul was also kept from conceit in the highest of conditions, and that is the pendulum, my friends, for every Christian believer and follower of Jesus Christ, learn contentment. Never be crushed in the lowest of lows. Oh, but if God takes you high, by his sheer grace, takes you up to a high, high place where the air is thin and nobody else has ventured there when you come back down, God will make sure he keeps you from conceit

Now, what was it? What was it? I don’t know. Do you tell me? If you know, after this session, I haven’t found anything conclusive in any commentary sermon I’ve ever heard on this passage could have been a chronic ailment. Some people say, had trouble with his vision or his eyes. Maybe the thorn was a depressive personality. He was prone to be melancholy. Maybe in a certain trial that just doesn’t close, maybe it’s a literal trial, a lawsuit that just won’t end. An enemy of Apostle Paul, an evil, evil, unrelenting enemy, haunting guilt that he used to imprison and persecute and terrorize Christians. Shame, some commentators have said a recurring temptation and sin. Apostle Paul did sin. Apostle Paul sinned a lot. He’s not bluffing when he says, I am the worst of all sinners. But for you and I, not knowing what the actual Thorn is, I think provides remarkable comfort and relevancy for us all. What we do need to know is the very thorn that plagued Apostle Paul, or the thorn that may plague you is used as a messenger from Satan. Paul identifies the culprit who uses a thorn to hurt you and bring you down and keep you down. And I know some of the lingo, the vocabulary of Satan pretty well. How could you

what’s wrong with you, how despicable and filthy of you, if anyone to ever find out, no one would ever, ever trust you again. God will not forgive you. God cannot love you. God cannot use you ever again you.

You are hopeless. Satan can use a thorn to bring you down, but the same Thorn used by Satan to harass you is the very same thing used by God to heal and love you. Look at this passage.

Satan uses as a messenger. He sends you messengers, messages through it. But God takes that very same thorn to liberate you, to humble you, purify, protect, sanctify and save you. God uses thorns to save you from something worse. God uses thorns. God allows thorns. He does not rejoice in those thorns. He allows the thorns. He allows those weaknesses to be recurring, replaying. You feel like, when is it going to go away? Will it ever get better? God uses those very same thorns to make you weak and keep you undeniably weak, because that’s the mercy of God. John. John Bunyan’s work, Pilgrim’s Progress. It’s a character by the name of Christian taken by the hand. He’s led into a place where fire burned in a fireplace in the wall. A man was standing by continually throwing buckets of water on the flames, trying to quench the fire. However, the fire only burned higher and hotter. So Christian asked, What does this mean? The interpreter answered, this fire is the work of grace that has been kindled in the heart. The man throwing water on it to extinguish and put out the flame is the devil, even though he continues to pour water on the fire, you can see the fire burns higher and hotter. Let me show you the reason for this. Let me show you the reason for this. So the interpreter led Christian behind the wall to the other side of the fire, where he saw a man with a container of oil in his hand, and that man continually poured oil from the container secretly into the fire. Christian asked once again, what does this mean? And here the interpreter answers 

Next slide, please. This is Christ, who continually maintains the work already begun with the oil of His grace in the heart, by this grace, in spite of what the devil can do, the souls of his people still prove to be gracious. Whatever fire, whatever temptation, whatever trial may come Satan, the devil will try to take you out and extinguish the fire, but through that very same fire, the very same Thorn, Christ, Jesus pouring grace, the oil of His grace, so that you will emerge and prove to be gracious, or as far as Peter would say, refined, more beautiful and proven and pure than you had previously ever could have been,

as part of my thanksgiving and praise to God, especially in the last three months coming to this decision of transition. I recalled, after Christ, central Southern California officially became a church in 2012 which was quite an accomplished accomplishment, or achievement, at least in our denomination, in the Korean American circles, because an English speaking ministry department was the first to become an independent church, fully governed. Make our own mistakes. Tax ID, you’ve gotta grow up and own this whole thing, and at the same time, choose to stay side by side with Cerritos Presbyterian Church.

What joy the year. Literally, one year after that, I don’t recall, probably another year where I experienced more than. Devastating losses. Three brothers in a row lost their lives, took their lives, one of whom was my daughter’s, we used to call Uncle Sean. I remember never grieving, never going to counselor, never really talking about it too much, but just getting busy back at work and I just tried to move on, just power through. Well that ended up in some episodes at the hospital, for sure, depression. Couldn’t fall asleep for, like, a year at bouts of insomnia, tried some medications that really didn’t help permanently. There was such a darkness, such a drainage of all the joy and kind of all the sense of accomplishment that we had gone through just the year before, and then four years ago, I think I was just here at the same place, talking about four years ago, I hit another new low, burnout, where I’ve never felt in my life I have no desire to do anything anymore, like nothing, not even studying and getting up to preach the Scriptures, the one joy and passion I thought I had left gone. And why am I sharing this with you as a fellow pastor?

I don’t know, and I’ll never know, all the reasons why there’s such highs and lows, why you have to go through burnout, or your family may have to fall apart, or your health fails, but what I do know Is God loves me, so God loves me so and that’s why he gives me a thorn. The power of God. How do you get and experience the power of God when you’re weak, the pendulum, the thorn, third, last but not least, the paradox. The paradox, I believe this is the prevailing theme of the entire letter of Second Corinthians. It provides the conclusion to the second letter. Look at verse eight. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me three times. That means Paul pleaded. That means Paul cried. That means there were all nighters I his brain couldn’t stop working overtime. His heart probably was just on full alert. Pleaded and begged and cried three times. Lord, remove the thorn. Remove the thorn. Remove the thorn. God answered him, no, no, no, I’m not going to remove that thorn. Does this remind you of anybody else in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus Christ, the perfect, sinless Son of God, begged. He cried out. His sweat turned into blood. Please, please take this away from me. Please remove this cross from me,

because Jesus was already beginning to sense an unprecedented shattering of his body and soul, the fury of a holy God, the forsakenness of his own father. From eternity, Jesus would have to walk into the fire of being nailed up at a cross, a much, much greater Thorn, to be sure, and even when Jesus, the Son, pled with his father, God said no. God said no to Jesus. God said no to Paul. I think. 

What that means is a lot of times when you and I pray the same thing, because oh how it haunts and oh how it hurts, oh how hard it has been when you and I pray, Lord, remove the thorn. Remove the thorn. Remove the thorn. God can and may say to you exactly the same thing, no, no, I won’t remove that, but I’m going to give you my grace in it, I’ll give you my strength for it. My power will come down and rest upon you in it, my power will be made perfect in weakness. Judas Iscariot never got over the thorn of how he betrayed Jesus Christ. Whereas Simon Peter was loved and used by Jesus Christ because of it, the very same thorn that the enemy can use to harass and hurt and keep you down is the very same Thorn God can use to love and heal you for good, power and weakness. How can we trust that the power of God would show in the most abject, filthy, desperate, miserable place of weakness. You look at Jesus Christ, my friends, the one who suffered, the one who was crucified only to be risen again, the one who submitted Himself and obeyed. Oh, he truly humbled Himself, and the Lord humbled him by becoming obedient to the point of death upon a cross. Oh, but let’s not stop there in that passage, therefore God highly exalted Him to be the name above all names that at the name of Jesus Christ, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God, the Father, my dear friends, here’s what I know. Here’s what I’m going to bank. Here’s my ride or die for you and for me, you trust. You submit. You obey the Lord Jesus Christ, and what God did with him. That’s what happens to you, what God does with him, united in him, you come out with Jesus on the other side.

My message for next chapter that God has ordained and wants for Asian American gospel ministry is, I think he wants to keep us weak, and he wants us to keep us saying this of God, and for God to keep saying this to us, verses nine through 10. But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness, Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me for the sake of Christ, then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Let me pray for us. Father in heaven. Nothing good, nothing lasting, happens apart from your Holy Spirit. So I pray Holy Spirit. Would you take the word of Jesus, Christ and message it not as from Satan, but as from the living and loving God, Lord, strengthen those who are weak this day, encourage the discouraged.

Assure us of forgiveness. US forsake it for our failures and sins. Holy Spirit, take us in the very place we least prefer, the very situations and feelings and trials and predicaments we least want to happen. And I pray that you would have your power come down and rest upon us, and we would experience and display a power that is made perfect, not ours, but all yours, to the honor and to the praise and glory of God forever, we pray. Amen.