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A Guide For Praying Through Racial Reconciliation As A Family

Editor’s Note: SOLA Editorial Board Member Kevin Yi wrote this prayer guide for families to help them discuss racial reconciliation together. We want to encourage parents to be honest with their children so that we can openly fight the sin of racism and bring the light of Christ into our hearts, homes, and communities.


Introduction

2020 is clearly God’s call for the church to pray. If nothing else, this year has proven to us that we’re not in control of anything and that the unthinkable is our reality. The coronavirus pandemic has utterly transformed how we live and think about our interactions with others, and now we’re once again at the brink of racial breakdown.

The 1992 L.A. Riots were nearly 30 years ago, and for many of us, the images we’re seeing from the looting in Los Angeles is causing us anxiety as we recall and remember the terror of those weeks.

But how we respond now will mark our children for years to come. How we respond to what is happening in our city and what is happening to the Black-American community is crucial to helping our children understand that the gospel is for every aspect of our life.

Let me say it plainly – racism is wrong, and what happened to George Floyd and countless others is evil and wicked. Although most of the protestors were peaceful and truly sought non-violent means for change, we’re not living in normal circumstances. There have been 3 back-to-back cases of unjust Black-American deaths in the last month, and with the global pandemic, the pressure that has been boiling and building up in the hearts of so many is now pouring out into the streets.

The same goes for our own Asian-American community. We’ve all become very aware of our own “otherness” in the last few months because of racism against Asians as the “source” of COVID-19. This too, has been building in our hearts over the last few months, and I believe that many of us are also at a boiling point; we see the looting and the rioting and it makes us want to take action, or say things that are filled with disappointment, hatred, anger, and racism towards others.

This was what I personally experienced after the ’92 LA Riots. Many of our 1st-generation parents responded as the rioters and protestors of Rodney King’s brutality did – with anger and bitterness towards the Black American rioters, and the White police officers who did not step in until the rioting reached the White, wealthy Beverly Hills districts.

I don’t blame them for this, but the fear and hatred caused tensions to run deep, and I heard it in passing comments all the time. I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, and for the latter parts of my elementary and middle school years, I was bullied by Black Americans bussed into our schools. This brewed racism in my own heart, and I was able to easily justify it because of the memories of what they had done to me personally and what they had done to my people.

Our passion as Korean-Americans wasn’t just expressed in racism, as it also brought together the community to rebirth Koreatown into the soft power cultural destination that it is now. This is what makes this week’s rioting even more heartbreaking. What will all that be for if it goes in flames again?

But here we must pause – because if we don’t, the cycle of hatred and anger will simply start all over again. My youngest son, Ian, turned 4 this year. I don’t want him to grow up with the kind of fear and hatred that I did. I don’t want any of my children to harbor bitterness towards any kind of people group. Instead, I want to impart to them how the gospel shapes our response to the evil in our hearts and the evil in the streets.


Scripture Reading & Response

For this exercise, it may be helpful to print copies of the passage so that you can mark the page and take notes.

Let’s take a moment to read Romans 12:9-21 together as a family. Mark or underline everything the Bible commands us to do:

  • Abhor what is evil
  • Hold fast to what is good
  • Love one another with brotherly affection
  • Outdo one another in showing honor
  • Don’t be slothful
  • Be fervent in spirit
  • Serve the Lord
  • Rejoice in Hope
  • Be patient in tribulation
  • Be constant in prayer
  • Contribute to the needs of the saints
  • Show hospitality
  • Bless those who persecute you
  • Do not curse them
  • Rejoice with those who rejoice
  • Weep with those who weep
  • Live in harmony with one another
  • Don’t be proud
  • Associate with the lowly
  • Never be wise in your own sight
  • Do not repay evil for evil
  • Do what is honorable for everyone
  • As much as possible, live peaceably with all
  • Never avenge ourselves; leave that to God’s wrath
  • Love our enemies; trust that God will judge
  • Do not be overcome by evil
  • Overcome evil with good

This is a LONG list of things that show us how we respond. Biblical justice is framed by love towards others. Take a few moments and discuss what these things mean in light of the police brutality, the systemic racism against Black-Americans, the racism that we’ve faced as Asian Americans, and the rioting in Los Angeles.


Reflection

Once we pause and take a step back, we see the wisdom in God’s Word. He doesn’t call us to frustration – but to humbly mourn with those who mourn, and to respond with kindness and generosity to those who seek to hurt us.

All of our actions are rooted in God’s sovereignty, and we shou
ld have faith and trust that his justice will balance the scales of right and wrong. Christian justice requires love, otherwise, it’s no different than the world’s response.

Jesus says in John 8:44 that Satan is “a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him.” In 1 John 3:15, the apostle writes, “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.”

Let us pause again and ask, “In my heart, who is my response shaped by? Is it shaped by Jesus who calls me to bless those who persecute me and not to curse them? Or is it shaped by Satan, who desires for hatred and anger to boil into murder?”

So what do we do? Where do we take our anger? We spill it out in front of God and we beg him to change our hearts.

We pick up the Psalms and we read and we weep. We cry for our friends and family who have lost their businesses because of the looting and rioting. We cry for the racism that we’ve faced as Asian Americans and the shame we’ve endured. We cry for the Black American community who keep losing their children to unjust murder. We cry for the family of police officers who grow more and more fearful of the nature of their jobs. We cry for justice to be brought upon evildoers. We cry in frustration for the pandemic and our sense of helplessness right now. We cry because we’re worried, anxious and sad. We don’t know what the future holds. We cry because we know we’re not in control and only God can heal our land and heal our hearts. We cry because inside of our hearts is a deep longing for heaven, and this earthly existence is filled with pain and suffering.

These two Psalms can be helpful in expressing our personal and communal lament before God: Psalm 27 (personal lament) and Psalm 79 (communal lament). We can pray through these Psalms by reading each couplet of poetry, and praying through the things that come up as we read it.

Lastly, let’s remember the goal. As Christians, we are looking forward to this day, as shown us in Revelation 7:9-10: “After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”

This is our great hope. This is why dealing with racism in our hearts and in our communities is crucial. It’s the clearest version of heaven we can have on this side. Let’s fight sin in our hearts and in our world by keeping this vision in front of us.