This article is Abby’s testimony, shared in response to the Generosity Initiative started by Lighthouse Community Church. This two-year Generosity Initiative titled, “Treasuring Christ” looks back to the past 22 years during which God has blessed and grown the Lighthouse family exponentially, while also looking forward to what God will do. The goal of this initiative is to raise funds for a larger church building to worship, serve, minister, and fellowship together. However, more importantly, the eternal goal of this initiative is that we grow in treasuring Christ above all else, because in Christ, we have everything that we need.
I always thought it was easy to be generous for those who have a lot, less so for someone like me. Since 2021, when I graduated college, I have been diligently applying to full-time animation positions and have only managed to get by with freelance gigs. With only a few gigs to sustain me through each year and no leads on a permanent position as an animator, my anxieties grow every year. Each job rejection takes a bit of my hope, and right around the time we kickstarted our Generosity Initiative, I hit rock bottom. God felt far and silent. There were many days I would sit at my desk, staring at LinkedIn, thinking, “What’s the point of applying?” Many of my prayers started with “Why…”. “Lord, why can’t I have this thing that all of my peers have?” “Why can’t I see the fruit of my labor already?” “What am I doing wrong?” “How long, O Lord, how long?”
As excited as I was for our church to start this new chapter of generosity, I came into it feeling discouraged. Having had no steady income and living off of my savings, I felt like I couldn’t participate, as if the little I had to give wasn’t even worth offering. The bar felt high as I compared myself to my friends who had full-time jobs and could give a more significant amount. In my discontentment and distrust, I very shamelessly looked to God and said, “How can I be generous? I have nothing.”
For weeks, our pastors had been preaching on what it means to treasure Christ, the real goal behind the Generosity Initiative. But just as our leaders feared, I missed the point entirely. I couldn’t see the treasures I had in Christ because I was stuck focusing on the things I didn’t have. I was stuck looking at my hands―my tiny, empty hands. I asked him, “Why are my hands empty? I thought you were a generous Giver.”
But God is so kind and so patient. I realized that my hands were empty because they’re too small to hold the gifts that God gives me. God so gently moved my hands away from my face to reveal a mountain of gifts that were in front of me the entire time: the gifts of creativity, serving, music, time, singleness, God’s Word, a loving family, supportive friends, and the blessings that come with my church family–sound teach from solid leadership, ministries for young adults, youth, disabilities, and women, family small group, biblical counseling, discipleship, and the list goes on. Especially when I consider my church community, some of the most loving and caring people I know, how can I say that I have nothing? And the most important gift of all: the gift of grace, Jesus Christ himself. Ephesians 2:8 says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” It is the gift of God.
Church family, I am so rich. By the world’s standards, I may not have very much, but in God’s economy, I am so rich―and not because of anything I did to deserve it, but only by “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for [my] sake he became poor, so that [I] by his poverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9).
To be honest, I still don’t know what my future looks like, I don’t know if I’m pursuing the right career, and I don’t know if I’ll find work any time soon. I don’t know the ways God plans to provide for me. But God knows. Because God made this day, he made tomorrow, and the next. He knows what I need, down to the penny and when I need it, down to the second.
So I’m joining in this Generosity Initiative, even if it’s just two copper coins. I can be generous because God has already so generously given me everything that I need. Yet even while I can share this testimony now, I’m still so prone to wander and forget, and I need community to be present with me. I praise God for the opportunity he has given me to be an encouraging presence for them, especially those who may be going through a similar season of waiting. I’m so excited to see how God will continue to grow my church for the next two years through this Generosity Initiative, and am grateful that I am able to experience this journey amongst such wonderful friends of his Kingdom.