Until I’m 6 feet under
Baby I don’t need a bed
Gonna live while I’m alive
I’ll sleep when I’m dead
Till they roll me over
And lay my bones to rest
Gonna live while I’m alive
I’ll sleep when I’m dead
Bon Jovi sang these words in 1992, probably around the time when I started my lifelong struggle with sleep.
Throughout my life, there have always been reasons to forgo sleep. As a young man, it was studying, hanging out with friends, playing video games, and staying up late to chat on AIM. Now, as a pastor of a Chinese Heritage Church, the demands keep me awake until the early hours. There are countless meetings to attend, sermons to prepare, and emails to compose. The list of responsibilities truly never ends.
There’s always an excuse to delay sleep; “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” has become my anthem. But living with limited sleep has led to poor eating habits, concentration issues, and a lack of patience in my relationships, just to name a few. The significance of sleep is often overlooked because we idolize a strong work ethic. It seems that hard work can mask a multitude of problems.
Perhaps you, like me, struggle with sleep. Sixty percent of Americans report insufficient sleep, which has been linked to difficulties in maintaining healthy relationships, low mood, and trouble focusing. I didn’t realize how my poor sleep habits were affecting me until I tore my meniscus after running my second marathon.
I dedicated myself to my passion for running, logging the miles and training hard, yet I never truly prioritized sleep. This approach is a recipe for burnout, as my body was never given the chance to recover. Sleep is when the body absorbs training and rebuilds itself stronger, but I was denying my body that opportunity because I thought, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
This year, I took a sabbatical, and one of my primary goals was to prioritize sleep. I focused on improving my sleep habits by limiting caffeine, tracking my sleep with my smartwatch, and doing everything I could to achieve a regular 8-9 hours of rest. I dedicated six weeks of my sabbatical to this effort and learned some significant lessons. While I expected it to benefit my physical health, I was surprised by how much it also restored my spiritual well-being.
First, it helped me recognize that I don’t fully trust God. While I would profess my trust in Him and can point to some evidence of that trust in my life, my unwillingness to sleep revealed my true beliefs. I relied on my ability to achieve and produce. Behind those late nights lay the belief in Satan’s lie that I could be like God if I just worked hard enough.
Moreover, my lived theology demonstrated a lack of trust in God’s work; I felt compelled to compensate for what I perceived as His shortcomings. However, during my sabbatical, I was confronted by the psalmist.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. 4 Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. — Psalm 121:1–4 (ESV)
God does not sleep; He is constantly working for His glory and our good. If God created us to sleep, it signifies that we can trust Him. I learned that embracing sleep is a daily way to combat the lie that I can be like God. Sleep can be a spiritual act of trusting God to manage His mission and our lives.
Reflecting on the Church over the past 2,000 years, I realized that many hours of Christians’ lives were spent asleep—doing nothing, contributing nothing, yet blissfully receiving the grace of God’s work.
Second, and related it helped me embrace my limitations
John Piper wrote, “Sleep is a daily reminder from God that we are not God. For we are not God … Sleep is a parable that God is God and we are mere men… Sleep is like a broken record that comes around with the same message every day: Man is not sovereign. Man is not sovereign. Man is not sovereign. Don’t let the lesson be lost on you.“
We were created with limitations, such as the need for daily sleep. This should humble us and remind us that we are not God. In our culture, there is a strong emphasis on breaking boundaries, with the belief that freedom equates to living without limits. This perspective echoes Satan’s lie that we can be like God. True freedom is not found in limitless living but in embracing our God-given limitations.
When I began to accept my need for sleep, I noticed my body recovering, my mind becoming clearer, and my emotions stabilizing. After six weeks of restful sleep during my sabbatical, I returned to work with a healthier outlook on challenges.
Psalm 127:2 reminds us that the LORD gives sleep to His beloved. Don’t wait until you’re dead to embrace the blessing of rest. While I don’t believe sleep solves all of life’s troubles, one of the best things you can do is prioritize sleep so you can truly live.
This article is part of the Leaders’ Line blog, written by various leaders and geared specifically toward those serving in leadership. Our email newsletter goes out twice a month. In addition to Leaders’ Line articles, each newsletter includes news and notes curated especially for ministry leaders. Sign up here to receive it directly in your inbox.