If you’re a Christian parent or educator, chances are you’ve had the experience of asking a child to pray (maybe at the dinner table or during Sunday School) and heard them reply, “But I don’t know what to say!”
Prayer is one of the greatest privileges we have as Christians. As Moses said in Deuteronomy, what other people “has a god so near to it as the Lord our God is to us, whenever we call upon him?” (Deut. 4:7b). Just like Moses, we want to instill in the next generation a sense of awe that our God hears us as we praise him, thank him, and give him our requests. We want them to learn and experience the joy of going to God in prayer. So how do we help young people who don’t know what or how to pray?
The Five W’s (and one H)
Sometimes, especially at younger ages, what children need is a little help with their nervousness when it comes to prayer. At times, a simple prompt of possible prayer topics is all they need to start. Other times, I’ve asked a young person to repeat after me line-by-line, like prayer training wheels to help them get started.
But outside of these immediate moments of “What do I pray?,” the bigger issue remains of how to teach our kids, tweens, and teens how to pray. Here, it can be helpful to consider the 5 W’s (and 1 “H”) around prayer. You might not talk through all these points at once, but having the “who, what, when, where, why, and how” of prayer in mind will serve you as you teach young people how to pray without ceasing (1 Thes. 5:16-18).
1. Teach them what prayer is and why we do it.
Here, you can start with a simple explanation like: “Prayer is talking to God. Just like you can talk to me, you can talk to him. He loves hearing from you!” We pray in obedience to God’s command, but also as beloved children who want to draw near to God in relationship with him. As children get older, we can open up the Scriptures–especially the Psalms–to show the wide range of things we talk to God about and circumstances that would prompt prayer. Young people need to learn not only to bring their requests, but praises, laments, confession, and thanksgiving to God as well.
2. Teaching them who they are praying to and through.
It’s important that children understand that prayer is not an empty ritual or practice, but a relational act done in faith. We are talking to God. Through Christ, we have access to the throne of grace. With confidence, we pray knowing that our Heavenly Father receives us and we pray in Jesus’ name.
3. Teach them when and where to pray.
Though at the table before a meal is a great place to start, we want to help young people learn to talk to God anytime and anywhere. What’s more, children and teens need to learn to pray with the people of God–at church during worship service, in prayer meetings, and spontaneously when in conversations with someone in need. We can show them biblical examples like Nehemiah, who instinctively turned to God in prayer where he was, even as he was talking to a king. They can learn to set aside time for prayer on their own while also practicing talking to God in school, as they hang out with their friends, and when they meet with God’s people.
4. Show them how to pray.
We teach the “W’s” of prayer most powerfully to the next generation through the way we pray. Whether at church or in the home, our prayers of praise and faith demonstrate who it is we’re praying to and through–what God is like and our confidence that he receives us in Christ. When we pray with young people, expressing our gratitude, sadness, guilt, or need, we teach why we pray and what it’s okay to pray about. We teach when and where to pray as we praise God out loud in the car, as we pray with our children for God’s help when they’re sad or frustrated, as we confess our sins to him after we’ve been short-tempered, and as we praise God with other believers in church.
Books on Prayer for Children and Teens (and Parents!)
As we teach young people about prayer, it can be helpful to have outside resources to answer their questions or give them more examples of how and what to pray. Often, the simple reminders in these books might even be truths that minister to our hearts as adults.
If you’re looking for books to help you teach the next generation about the great privilege we have as a people whose God is near to us when we pray, here are some of Westminster Kids’ bookstore favorites:
For Toddlers and Children
What Every Child Should Know About Prayer (Ages 4-9)
The Barber Who Wanted to Pray (Ages 4-9)
For Tweens and Teens
Prayer Is an Adventure (Ages 8-12)
How Can I Feel Closer to God? (Big Questions) (Ages 10-12)
For Parents and Caregivers
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published at the Westminster Kids’ blog, and it has been republished here with permission.