Editor’s Note: This article is part of a series called “Letters from Grandpa.” Each entry is written by Cory Ishida, who was the senior pastor of Evergreen Baptist Church of San Gabriel Valley until his retirement. During the pandemic, he began texting devotions to his grandchildren to encourage them while they were apart, and that tradition continues to this day. We at the SOLA Network are honored to republish Pastor Cory’s devotions in hopes that they will be a blessing to the church.
Dear Grandchildren,
One of the things parents complain about is that talking to their teenager is like talking to a brick wall. Adolescents tend to ignore their parents as though they aren’t hearing or listening to them. Now, science gives a reason why this happens.
In a groundbreaking study, the Stanford School of Medicine revealed the results of MRI scans on teenagers that showed that teenage brains begin to “tune out” their parents’ voices neurologically at about thirteen. Their brains don’t register their parents’ voices the same way they did in the pre-teen years.
“Just as an infant knows to tune into her mother’s voice, an adolescent knows to tune into novel voices,” said lead study author Daniel Abrams, PhD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences. “As a teen, you don’t know you’re doing this. You’re just being you: You’ve got your friends and new companions and you want to spend time with them. Your mind is increasingly sensitive to and attracted to these unfamiliar voices.”
Researchers said the way the adolescent brain changes is a good thing.
“A child becomes independent at some point, and that has to be precipitated by an underlying biological signal,” said the study’s senior author, Vinod Menon, PhD, the Rachael L. and Walter F. Nichols, MD, Professor and a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences. “That’s what we’ve uncovered: This is a signal that helps teens engage with the world and form connections which allow them to be socially adept outside their families.”
This may be God’s way of helping teenagers become mature adults. He neurologically equips them to engage in a world outside the comfort and safety of their homes and parents.
Nevertheless, the Lord expects teenagers to listen to and obey their parents. Proverbs 1:8 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” The writer goes on to say, “My son, if sinners entice you, so not consent” (Proverbs 1:10).
It’s interesting to note that as a child gets older, the biblical instruction is “not to forsake” your parents. It is as though God is acknowledging that their ears are becoming more sensitive to outside voices. Even so, the admonitions are clear. Children should always obey their parents, and, as they mature into adulthood, they should always honor their parents (Exodus 20:12).
Grandchildren, it blesses me that each of you is maturing into adulthood and becoming more sensitive to outside voices. Yet, you are still listening to your parents, and that is the will of God for your lives. This Is the Way.
Love,
Grandpa