One of our church members often joked about leaving our church. One day, as a joke, I said, “Oh what? Is our church just an Airbnb to you?” Though I said it as a light-hearted joke, the truth of it felt heavy.
Sadly, this is how many people view the church, more like an Airbnb than a home. At an Airbnb, you stay until you get what you want/need out of it and check-out when you are done. However, a home has deep roots.
The Church Covenant
Two years ago, while reading about the covenant between Jonathan and David, I was convicted by the Holy Spirit to make a covenant with my head pastor and his wife to serve at Go & Make Disciples (GOND) Church until “death do us part.”
I felt a little crazy and definitely alone in this decision because I have never heard another person make a covenant like this with their church. Of course, I’ve seen people make marital covenants many times, but a covenant to a church? Never.
A Letter to the Asian American Church
At Heidi Tai’s recommendation, I’m reading a book called, “A Letter to the Asian American Church.” If I were to sum up my experience reading this book in one sentence, it is, “I’ve never felt so seen in my life reading a book before.”
My favorite chapter is by the editor of the book, Steve S. Chang, “Exegete Your People: Understanding the Heartbeat of Asian American Congregations.” In this chapter, he discusses a rootless faith:
A typical second-generation Asian American story goes as follows. She grows up in her parents’ immigrant church and enjoys youth group. If her faith survives the adolescence stage, she says goodbye to the immigrant church upon entering college and explores faith through a parachurch ministry on campus or a non-immigrant church near campus. If her faith survives college, she moves to the city for work and finds a church that provides an environment and community for those on a similar journey. She pursues the American dream in her career, marriage, family, and a home in the suburbs with a good school district. If her faith survives the pursuit of the American dream, she looks for a church her kids will love. If her faith survives all these life stages, she has now cycled through four churches. If she still has faith, her faith may lack the deep rootedness that comes from being tethered to a faith tradition. Without that long-term faith community, the child of the immigrant generation can adopt a Christianity that is rootless, untethered, and unguided.
If you are leading an Asian American congregation, plan to shepherd your people for decades and not simply for a season. Your church needs you to model what it means to be rooted in a faith community. One of the most important but underappreciated things you can do is stick around.
Though the author didn’t explicitly use the word “covenant,” he put into words what my heart has felt for the longest time when he wrote, “One of the most important but underappreciated things you can do is stick around.”
There is an unquestioned assumption that wherever your job is, that is where you go. I’m not asserting that you shouldn’t move for a career opportunity. However, I’d venture to say that a higher level of prayerful contemplation is necessary when choosing to move (and thereby, leaving your local church) for a job.
Bearing Fruit Takes Years
Why commit to one church? Because seeing the fruit of your labor takes years. Joey Chen writes in “Steadfast: Persevering Through Difficult Seasons of Ministry,”
When you first arrive at your church, you should commit to staying at least five years because in the first five years you’re building trust and credibility. If you don’t fail or get fired, do your best to stay no matter how difficult the ministry.
Though this book was written specifically for Asian American church leaders, it can also be applied to members of any church. It takes time to build trust and decades to build intergenerational discipleship.
My personal experience has been that only after four years of consistently loving and seeing my youth kids every Friday and Sunday did some of them start to trust me enough to be vulnerable with some of their struggles. And it may take another decade for me to see the fruit of that labor.
Is it hard to stick around? Absolutely. That’s why so many of us are rootless. And to be honest, there are countless times that I wanted to step down from my role as the English Ministry Pastor and leave our church.. And the only thing that anchored me through the difficult seasons was that covenant that I made to the church.
The one thing that I want to share with the next generation is to cultivate the art of sticking around and dig deep roots in your church.
Conclusion
God has given me a heart that desires to see a unified, intergenerational Korean church. To see such a church realized, we need all the different generations, especially the younger ones, to practice the discipline of sticking around. And if you do decide to leave a church, don’t leave it the way that you would leave an AirBnb.
Editor’s Note: This piece was originally published on Jae’s blog. It has been republished here with permission from the author.
Photo Credit: Loren Cutler