My wife Sanjung and I have three girls. We are constantly aware of the messages they receive from society around us. We live in a world opposed to the ways of God in the areas of money, marriage, sex, the unborn, gender, and justice. Embracing God’s design for the home (Deuteronomy 6:4-8), we are shepherding them as we look to our Good Shepherd.
I’m not sharing this as a seasoned mentor who looks back at a good parenting job. Instead, I’m sharing this as a friend, giving a glimpse into our conversations at home. Perhaps you can consider this for your own family, or share with me what you do.
Here’s how we’re preparing our kids to engage with the world, summed up into five biblical principles.
1. Don’t Follow Your Heart
The world tells us to “follow your heart” and “you do you.” Each person can decide what’s best for them, based on what feels right. Underlying these messages is the false belief that all our desires are good and meant to be celebrated.
But regarding the heart, the Bible teaches the opposite. With our kids, we remind them of Jeremiah 17:9, that the heart is deceitful above all things. We point out that David asked God to create for him a clean heart (Psalm 51:10) because his own was not clean. Paul teaches that our natural inclination is to desire what is contrary to the Spirit (Galatians 5:17). So, just because something feels right doesn’t mean it is. We are encouraging our kids to distrust their feelings and trust the Scriptures. While the world teaches that we should embrace our feelings, we are teaching our kids not to follow them.
2. Following Jesus is Hard
Instead of following our hearts, we follow Jesus. While the world teaches us to “be yourself,” Jesus teaches “deny yourself” (Matthew 16:24). We teach our kids that those who follow Jesus are hated by the world (1 John 3:13). We face persecution, affliction, and slander (Matthew 5:10-12, John 16:33). Being a disciple of Jesus is like death (Luke 9:24-25). Our default mindset for following Jesus should not be ease but difficulty. In Jesus’ teaching, there is no room for the prosperity gospel.
But we remind our kids that Jesus puts us on a path that he took first. He denied himself, took up the cross, faced persecution and slander (John 15:20). He was hated by the very world he came to save. On our behalf, he died a shameful and painful death. While the world teaches us to follow what is easy and comfortable, we are teaching our kids the cost of discipleship. This is the way of our King.
3. Don’t Be Like the World, but Be with the World
Here’s a sobering thought: Jesus teaches that most people aren’t on the path to life but on the path to destruction (Matthew 7:13-14). Those who are on the narrow path to life are not of the world (John 17:16). We teach our children that friendship with the world is hostility towards God (James 4:4). Instead of the world, we follow the will of God, which leads to life (Romans 12:2, 1 John 2:15-17).
But we don’t withdraw from the world. We teach our kids that Jesus sends his disciples into the world (John 17:15, Matthew 28:19) to have an impact. We are called to be the light of the world and point people towards the Father (Matthew 5:14-16). We serve the less fortunate and seek justice for the marginalized (Isaiah 1:17, Psalm 82:3, James 1:27). We love our neighbors (Matthew 25:40, Romans 12:15), including those who do evil to us (Luke 10:30-37, Matthew 5:44-48, Romans 12:14). We are teaching our kids that we are different from the world, but we bless the world.
4. It’s Impossible Without God
As we teach our kids the high standard of following Jesus, it all seems unattainable. If some who do things for Jesus are denied his presence (Matthew 7:22-23) and are like a fruitless branch thrown into the fire (John 15:5-6), then where do we have hope? The early disciples lamented that entering the Kingdom of God seemed impossible (Mark 10:24-26).
But Jesus gives us hope: What is impossible for people is made possible with God (Mark 10:27). Jesus teaches that those who remain in him will bear fruit (John 15:4-5). After his resurrection, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in his followers (Romans 8:9). The Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin (John 16:8), enables us to submit to Jesus as Lord (1 Corinthians 12:3), and is the guarantee of our future inheritance (Ephesians 1:13-14). It is the Spirit who frees us from sin and death (Romans 8:2) and empowers us to live godly lives (Galatians 2:20-21, Philippians 2:12-13, 1 John 4:6-8) that bear fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). We are teaching our kids that we meet the standard of discipleship because of God’s enabling.
5. It Will Be Worth It
Make no mistake: Followers of Jesus must deny ourselves, be different from the world, go against our desires, and give up our lives. We remind our kids the world rejects, hates, and persecutes us. This is why Jesus and his apostles constantly teach about perseverance and endurance (James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-5, Matthew 24:13, 1 Peter 1:6-7).
But we teach our kids that all this hardship is worth it. Jesus promises great rewards for those persecuted and slandered for his sake (Matthew 5:11-12). He promises that we who sacrifice for him will receive back a hundredfold, both in this life and eternal life (Mark 10:29-31). Paul teaches that our present sufferings cannot be compared with the glory we will receive in the end (Romans 8:17-18). We are teaching our kids that the reward for following Jesus far outweighs the cost.
Every day, we pray that our girls will follow Jesus, especially when it’s difficult. We ask the Lord for wisdom and strength to shepherd them so that they can engage with the world. We are building a solid foundation on the Bible’s message for our children so that they can think critically about the world’s messages. We constantly pray for the Spirit to work in their lives to start them and keep them on the narrow path to life.