Self-care or personal stewardship is an important part of loving God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He has made us uniquely and positioned us within unique contexts, so we have a responsibility to both understand ourselves and our situations well so we can sustainably steward our lives before God.
This thoughtful self-care must precede and guide our care for others. If we are to serve others, then we need to first understand the varied grace given to each of us uniquely by God to steward faithfully (1 Pet 4:10). Often as Christians, we can be quick to use what God has entrusted to us to take care of others and yet easily neglect caring well for our own minds, hearts, and bodies. And even if others pour into you, that is not the same as learning the discipline of taking care of yourself.
Perhaps you look at your life and would say, “I feel fine.” For others of you, you may feel like your ministry is a cautionary tale. Below is a list of self-care questions for leaders and volunteers. Read through the questions and choose the ten that would feel most helpful in explaining how you are doing with stewarding your overall life and health in this season.
Then discuss your answers with a trusted friend, bring them before the Lord in prayer, and talk with your church leadership about how you want to move forward in ministry with a better plan for stewarding your own life.
- When was the last time you looked forward to caring for someone else?
- What relationships do you have that pursue your good and seek to carry your burdens?
- Do you wish you could take a break from serving others to better respond to personal burdens?
- What practical help or resources could assist you in this season?
- When was the last time you felt able to have a “sabbath rest”?
- What does sleep look like for you? Is it restful?
- Does exhaustion ever overshadow the joy of ministry? If so, what does that look like?
- If a meeting gets canceled, how do you feel?
- How many people lean on you for help?
- How significant is the amount of help you have to give outside of church ministry?
- Do you feel guilty when you say “no” to something at church?
- Where else do you carry guilt or shame in ministry?
- Are you able to reproduce yourself (i.e. create new leaders) in your ministry?
- Is your church investing in your ministry (e.g. helping you to equip others, creating a support team, reaching out to you and other members)?
- How much solitude do you have? Or are you always feeling like you have to do something?
- What percentage of your church life is dedicated to growth, development, and being “invested in” versus ministry output and production?
- What would happen to your ministry if you got sick for multiple weeks?
- If you had a major life change, who would take over your ministry? How would that transfer take place?
- Have you ever had counseling? Would you be interested in receiving counseling?
- What disappointments, fears, and anxieties do you experience in ministry?
- What types of ministry situations tend to be more emotionally draining for you? What factors contribute to that experience?
- Have you experienced any recent changes in mood and in how you respond to those around you?
- What ministry examples and role models do you seek to imitate in your own ministry? What does self-care look like in their lives?
- As you reflect on your desire to serve in this ministry, who was most influential in encouraging you in this path?
- What would you like your ministry to look like?
- What do you think could be a sustainable way to handle the emotional load of your ministry?
- How often do you have thoughts about financial insecurity (e.g. I wish I made more so I could pay for childcare so that I could serve the church with more flexibility)?
- How demanding is your spouse’s job? How does that impact your current responsibilities?
- In what relationships do you have little choice in how much care goes out from your life (e.g. infant, young children, elderly parents, etc.)? If you are in such a season, how do the demands of that care reshape what ministry looks like in this season?
- Has there ever been a season where you felt able to both care well for yourself and care well for others? If so, describe that season of life.