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The COVID-19 Exile: Stuck With Our Families For Good

“All Things Work Together For Good”

COVID-19 is a once in a generation, maybe even, a once-in-a-century moment.

We have seen the life-altering devastation of 9/11, the Indian Ocean tsunami, and the earthquake in Haiti. But COVID-19 is unique in that it is not just an event where the majority is watching from a distance, but the majority is experiencing it up close and personal.

But when it feels like the world is falling apart, where do we find solid ground? We stand in the promises of God, which are the places He calls us to stand when it feels like the earth beneath us is giving way. And of all the promises, Romans 8:28 might be the one that keeps us most steady: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

While that promise gives us comfort, we recognize that the verse does say that all things take time to “work together.” Thus, there is an inevitable wilderness between the Promise and the Promised Land. And thus, we do appropriately mourn and lament as we wait. Yet, part of what produces the healing and hope as we wait is pressing into the Lord to ask, “But Father, what is the good you are working to produce in this?”


“Father, What is the Good?”

Let’s not be arrogant to presume that we are God and can make declarations of knowing exactly what He is doing. Or worse, may we not declare falsehoods like Job’s friends about what God is doing! But, in these unique moments of history, it still ought to be our desire to have the discernment “of men of Issachar, who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do” (1 Chronicles 12:32).

Now, there are already articles and insights galore written on discerning what God may be doing, and especially how this is a time of repentance of false securities, to which I heartily agree and say, “Amen!” So, I’ll seek to share my particular burden from the Lord, which is that I believe one of the good effects of this coronavirus and the quarantine is that God may be bringing us back towards rebuilding the most foundational unit of humanity — the family.


“What’s Wrong With Our Families?”

When looking into studies of generations, researchers can find pendulum swings of behaviors. Generally speaking, Generation X (born 1965-1982) may have experienced a type of parenting that was more distant, with children being independent but desiring more love from their parents. Generation Y or Millennials (1983-2000) and especially Generation Z (2001-2018) have experienced more of the “helicopter parent” syndrome of parents loving their children to the point of being overbearing.

With that trend, does this generation of children actually need more time with their parents?

But while parents may be more involved in their children’s lives in this generation than the previous, we see children exhibiting higher levels of anxiety, stress, and depression than ever recorded before. Some of the causes are related to social media and having constant, immediate feedback on your level of social approval. But a large part of that is also the extreme busyness and pressure parents have placed on their children to perform in school, sports, and other extracurriculars. Children have never been busier and constantly engaged than they have been in this current generation.

Now, on the flip side, I know especially as an Asian American, and even more so as one in ministry, I have found myself thinking of the home as a “secondary concern” or even “nuisance” in light of the “more pressing demands” of the kingdom and ministry. So I have at various times in my life found myself on the other side of the pendulum where the issue may not be overinvolvement, but neglect.

Regardless, if we are found harming our families through overinvolvement or through neglect, it may be that one of the “goods” of this situation is the Lord giving families an opportunity to press the “reset” button on rhythms of life that have been leading us towards more dysfunction than health in the home.


“Why Would God Care So Much About The Family?”

Author Will Durant has said that “Family is the nucleus of civilization.” Any basic chemist knows that the essence of the energy released from a nuclear bomb comes by breaking the nucleus of an atom. Now, just as a nuclear bomb comes from breaking an atom’s nucleus, so there is a bomb that blows in society when the nuclear family is broken.

God, in His wisdom, has ordained from creation that the most foundation societal unit of humanity would be the family — the husband, wife, and their children. And statistically speaking, the most effective evangelistic and disciple-making strategy over generations has not been missions, crusades, personal evangelism, social justice, or discipleship curriculum, but the raising of children in Christian homes.

So yes, COVID-19 has brought us tremendous pain and anxiety about health and the future. But, God sovereignly has given us silver linings of goodness in these dark clouds.

And maybe, just as the Babylonian exile expelled the Israelites “until the land had enjoyed its Sabbaths” (2 Chronicles 36:21), the COVID-19 exile has expelled us out of our overworked workplaces and schools and activities into the “exilic rest” of our own homes!

Men and women of Issachar, your family is “exiled into your home” for the next few weeks or longer. So, will we have understanding of the times and know what to do?

I hope in the next article to get practical in sharing what are key ways for parents with children at home can think about making the most of this time of being “exiled at home”.