There are certain words that are no longer in vogue today. These include: discipline, commitment, discipleship, loyalty, and other such terms that require paying a price that many do not wish to pay.
Loyalty is out of style. Not only in the business world and the institution of marriage, it also appears to be a lost word in the church. Is there such a thing as church loyalty? Should Christians be loyal to their home church? Should one jump from one church to another in the same way one leaves a job for a better paying one? Should one be loyal to their immigrant churches? Or should they jump ship when their needs are not being met?
Many Asian Americans leave their immigrant-led bilingual churches for greener pastures. Various reasons are given, some justifiable (like abuse or false teaching) and some not. However, I speculate that many leave too soon. They may be like those who give up on their marriage without putting enough effort into building the relationship. Why should they hang in there and persevere?
Why do Asian Americans Leave Their Immigrant-Led Churches?
1. To avoid conflict
One of the major reasons folks leave their bilingual churches is because they have grown weary over the conflicts with overseas-born pastoral or lay leadership that has been insensitive to them and their needs. They want to leave all the hassles involved in a bicultural church where the Christian faith is often mixed with the promotion of culture. They leave to go to a church where there are fewer cultural conflicts.
But in doing so, many miss out on valuable lessons. James 1:2-4 tells us that we are not to regard the trials of life as intruders; instead, we are to welcome them as friends. They are God’s tools to develop our character into the kind of people he wants us to be. By running from conflict, we may never learn to deal with it in a healthy way. Avoidance of conflict becomes a lifestyle that may be detrimental to our long-term spiritual health.
2. To seek a full-service church
Some Asian Americans leave their home church because it is somewhat smaller in size and does not offer the full services that a larger church provides. There may not be well-developed programs for all ages in the immigrant-led church. Therefore, one leaves to find a church that better serves their whole family, where there may be fellowship groups for every age group in the church.
But Christian parents can depend too much on the youth programs to be responsible for the spiritual development of their children. They believe that if their children can get into strong peer fellowship groups, they will be molded into committed Christians. These groups can be an easy way out for the parents and become a form of babysitting to keep the children occupied in wholesome activities while the parents avoid their personal responsibility for the spiritual training of their children.
Parents must realize that the primary place for the spiritual training of children is not the local church but the home. The fellowship groups merely support the parents in their efforts to provide spiritual nurture in the home. There are many examples of children in small churches or from missionary families living in areas without a church, who are strong in their faith. Their parents have taken seriously their responsibility to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
3. To hear better preaching
The well-known pastor, Chuck Swindoll, used to minister at a church in Southern California. He attracted many people who left their smaller churches in order to hear great preaching. They were able to learn more from the weekly Sunday sermons than from what they were receiving in their home church. In the same way, some Asian Americans leave their home churches because they want to hear sermons that are inspiring and practical.
People may mistakenly think that since they hear great preaching every Sunday, they are making great strides in their faith. Relying on a once-a-week spoon-feeding through a sermon will not contribute much toward one’s spiritual growth. Otherwise, all the people in Chuck Swindoll’s church would be spiritual giants! Spiritual maturity comes through the fervent practice of the spiritual disciplines and not primarily through the hearing of sermons.
Why Should There Be Loyalty?
1. Your spiritual home
For many Asian Americans, their immigrant-started home church was where they grew up as children. There they were saved and nurtured in the faith. They are products of Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, camps, and retreats. Now that they are more mature in their faith, they often think they no longer have any need for their church and leave to go elsewhere.
When I see this taking place, I see them as abandoning their spiritual parents, like a person abandoning his or her birth parents. At great cost, our birth parents weaned us and nurtured us into adulthood. In their old age a role-reversal takes place. The children become the parents and care for their elderly parents. We see this as part of the cycle of life. It is a responsibility which we all accept. Even when our parents become uncooperative and cantankerous, we will not abandon them. We care for them even though they may make it difficult for us. We never give up on them because they are our parents. Now, it is our duty to care for them.
Shouldn’t Christians have this same kind of loyalty to their home churches? Or do you abandon your church where you found Christ and were nurtured in the faith, when you no longer need it or when conflicts arise? No, it is a time to be loyal to your spiritual heritage.
2. You are needed
Because bilingual churches tend to be small, they are in need of volunteers, especially for their English-speaking ministry. You may now be in a position to be a big help to your church. For many years you have been on the receiving end; now it is your turn to be on the giving end. In a large church, there are more available workers. In your immigrant-started home church, the laborers are few, and you are greatly needed.
You can consider the needs as opportunities. I grew up in a Chinese American church where I gained much practical experience in several areas of the church’s program. I remember meeting a person from a large church who graduated from seminary but never had the opportunity to preach in a worship service. This happens in marked contrast to a person in a small church having many opportunities to preach. In small churches, we have the privilege of gaining a broad range of church experiences.
In smaller immigrant-started churches, high school youth are likely to be called upon to give the children’s message in the Sunday worship service, and they are eager to accept this responsibility. They will also have a greater opportunity to share from the pulpit on special occasions such as Mother’s Day or to give testimonies of their experience at summer camp, and to participate in church dramas, musicals, and other such events. I have seen shy high schoolers develop into mature adults who speak publicly with great poise because of the ample opportunities they had to develop their leadership skills in small churches.
3. Enhance Spiritual Development
A person’s spiritual growth is not dependent on the size of his church. It is primarily determined by his degree of participation in personal spiritual disciplines such as prayer, meditation, solitude, and musical worship. Large and small churches alike can be places for believers to grow to maturity.
Spiritual growth also comes with facing the trials of life with a biblical attitude. Since there are many potential trials to face in the immigrant-led bilingual church, it can be fertile ground for developing mature Christian attitudes. When one leaves the church because of conflicts, he is depriving himself and his family of the valuable lessons they can learn by facing the problems and trying to work through them.
By leaving, one can also develop a pattern of fleeing when the going gets rough. I do not condemn those who have left immigrant churches, but I do believe that some leave too soon and miss out on the valuable lessons from life that the Lord has for them.
An earlier version of this article appeared in the August 1999 issue of the AboutFACE newsletter.